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Tuesday, March 06, 2018

Happy Dred Compromise Day!

History's discordant rhymes plague us: compromise over a couple new states; 37 years later, gone, along with a man's freedom.  Fuck that motherfucker, Taney, to whom Roberts aspires to be.


March 6, 2018 in And Fuck..., Constitution, Schmonstitution | Permalink | Comments (0)

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Friday, December 15, 2017

OK, RudoIph. FuII power!

Fuck you, Santa!

A few popular memes have captured the dubious moral of Rudolph’s story. One has Santa beseeching Rudolph to guide his sleigh through the fog, only to get mercilessly shut down: “I’m sorry Santa, but I feel uncomfortable giving you help after the verbal abuse and discrimination I suffered during my formative years,” the reindeer says. “It has taken me a long time to realize that my self-worth does not stem from my usefulness to you. I do not owe you anything.” Another imagepairs a still from the 1964 Rankin/Bass stop-motion TV special—the most famous depiction of Rudolph’s plight—with a concise distillation of North Pole capitalist philosophy: “Deviation from the norm will be punished unless it is exploitable.”

For generations, ever since the story was written as a poem in 1939 and popularized as a song a decade later, Rudolph’s lesson was interpreted more simply: Don’t make fun of people who are different, because everyone has something to offer. But around the time that the internet became the place for people to revisit problematic themes of old artworks, and for parents to fret about how they were raising their kids, Santa and his crew came in for a long-overdue reckoning. Rudolph “doesn't want to teach you kindness or charity, or any of that crap; it only wants to teach you spite and how to commit hate crimes,” claimed a blogger in 2010. Parenting groups on Facebook have hosted debates about whether it’s better to watch the TV special with kids and discuss what’s messed up about it, or keep it away from them altogether. In 2013, Michael Schaffer argued in the New Republic that the story “presents a fairly grim, Hobbesian vision of society: If you want to be accepted, you have to prove your economic utility—which, in the case of magical flying reindeer, appears to only involve the annual sleigh-pull.”

Okay, yeah, Santa and his minions were dicks to the most famous reindeer of all (which always made me wonder why they ask if we've heard of the anti-establishment scamp, but I digress).  Yet I take issue with the charge that everybody accepted Rudy only when he demonstrated his value to the organization.

Recall that he and the Dental Fetish Elf came home, everybody apologized, accepted their differences, worked them into the new social order, and then...Rudolph became a hero when need presented.  Let's not rewrite Xmas history here, folks.

Christ, I'm sick of Slate Pitches.


December 15, 2017 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (3)

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Thursday, November 10, 2016

The FOG Of War

Fear, obligation, and guilt on a national level (via FB):

Fuck unity. Here's why. I grew up at the hands of narcissists. If there's one thing I know in life, it's how narcissists operate. You don't pledge unity with them. You don't wait and give them a chance. You don't talk about coming together, or about compromise. Even if they do. Why? Because they don't mean it, and they are going to walk all over you. If you can get the FUCK away from the narcissist, you do.

Sadly, this time, we can't. So, you fight. You don't give an inch. You marshal every resource you have and you FIGHT. Because that's what they are going to do. Don't EVER assume for ONE MINUTE they are operating in good faith or trying to cooperate or do anything other than simply boosting their own ego, often by harming you. Expect them to lie. Put things in writing. Make sure you have witnesses when you meet with them. If you can, film it. Set clear rules and sue the shit out of them if they don't abide by them. Ask for payment in advance if there's a financial transaction. Don't listen to their insults. Don't believe them when they tell you that YOU are the problem. They will try to use your sense of common decency to manipulate you, hence the bullshit right now about coming together.

Indeed, the majority that voted for Hillary should not fall for it, especially after all the cynical obstruction during Obama's tenure.  Politics ain't about singing kumbaya: it's war by other means.


November 10, 2016 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (1)

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Tuesday, July 19, 2016

I Never Doff My Cleveland Baseball Cap

Friends Journal posted on FB:

When a new visitor brings up Quaker cereal, Andrew uses it as an opportunity to talk about the black hat as a demonstration of the equality testimony: "at one time two-thirds of Quaker English men were in prison because they would not tip their hats to the Lords when seeing them on the street."

Yes, we're a rude people known for our hats and cereal, which is why even memorial services become teachable moments for you fucking heathens.


July 19, 2016 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (2)

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Monday, April 25, 2016

Jackson Made The Trail Of Tears Run On Time

Dear Dixiecrat/Former Senator/Loser Presidential Candidate Jim Webb: we can and should celebrate heroic Tubman while simultaneously denigrating genocidal Jackson, you fucking douchecanoe.


April 25, 2016 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0)

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Monday, February 22, 2016

Do You Believe In Miracles?

I'll never forget the game, nor the aftermath. A couple of my classmates passed me a note the following day that said, "Fuck you, Todd, Russia sucks."  Because I was kind of a Russophile, you see, given (and despite) my family background.  I thought it was a great contest.  Kids suck.


February 22, 2016 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0)

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Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Fuck Nil Nisi Bonum


In the moments after Scalia’s death was announced, there were immediate exhortations — some of it concern trolling, some of it genuine appeal to courtesy — to not speak of the great damage he did to the lives of many as part of his public office. To think of his friends and family, and what they would like to hear said about him. To not speak ill of the dead.

And you know what? It does nobody any good to not speak ill of the dead, especially not the friends and family of the deceased.

When I die, I fully expect somebody to haul out every mean, nonsensical, jerkwaded thing I ever said and read it from a podium at my funeral.

I'm glad Scalia's a fucking corpse.  Too bad the hateful asshole didn't have the courtesy to drop dead sooner.


February 16, 2016 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (4)

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Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Old White Man Yells At Marginalized People Shaped Cloud

The disinherited don't need our permission to protest or express themselves in a particular way.  So critics can go fuck themselves, and I'll work on the post telling them exactly how...


February 10, 2016 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0)

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Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Snowballs Are The Reason For The Season

Fuck Senator Inhofe:

The warm air surging up the East Coast on Christmas Eve will prove nothing short of historic. Dozens of records will fall, some by very large margins.

Temperatures at or above 70 degrees will span from Florida all the way into southern New England covering some 1,200 miles and 20 percent of the Lower 48.

In many places in the East, temperatures will run some 30-40 degrees above normal.

The warmth in a few locations will be so anomalous that low temperatures will challenge existing records highs.

Yesterday it rained a lot here, today it was 57F, tomorrow it's supposed rain again, Xmas is supposed sunny and in the mid-40s.  This is bullshit.


December 23, 2015 in And Fuck..., Biofuels, Bitches! | Permalink | Comments (1)

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Monday, October 19, 2015

Why don't you pass the time by playing a little solitaire?

Thank the Fuck Christ I got out of politics.

 - Geo Washington


Rep. Mo Brooks (R-Ala.) recently spoke with talk radio host Matt Murphy and said the real issue with Clinton’s use of a private email server as secretary of state is “how many lives she put at risk by violating all rules of law that are designed to protect America’s top-secret and classified information from falling into the hands of our geopolitical foes who then might use that information to result in the deaths of Americans.”

Brooks added Republicans are going to make sure this issue follows Clinton into office, should she be elected president in 2016.

“And in my judgement, with respect to Hillary Clinton, she will be a unique president if she is elected by the public next November, because the day she’s sworn in is the day that she’s subject to impeachment because she has committed high crimes and misdemeanors,” he said.

At least Republicans in 2008 waited until the day after President Obama’s inauguration before plotting to sabotage the country.  You have to admire their efficiency in attempting to impeach someone years before she’s evennominated for the White House, let alone elected, but here we are.

Just more evidence your modern GOP is the enemy within, sabotaging our Republic...


October 19, 2015 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0)

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Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Get Thee To A Quakery

Church and State!  Whiskey!  Sexy!

At a General Court held at Boston, the 14th of October, 1656.

Whereas, there is a cursed sect of heretics, lately risen up in the world, which are commonly called quakers, who take upon them to be immediately sent from God, and infallibly assisted by the Spirit, to speak and write blasphemous opinions, despising government, and the order of God, in the church and commonwealth, speaking evil of dignities, reproaching and reviling magistrates and ministers, seeking to turn the people from the faith, and gain proselytes to their pernicious ways:

...be it ordered and enacted, that what master or commander of any ship, bark, pink, or ketch, shall henceforth bring into any harbour, creek, or cove, within this jurisdiction, any quaker or quakers, or other blasphemous heretics, shall pay, or cause to be paid, the fine of one hundred pounds to the treasurer of the country...

And it is hereby further ordered and enacted, that what quaker soever shall arrive in this country from foreign parts, or shall come into this jurisdiction from any parts adjacent, shall be forthwith committed to the house of correction; and, at their entrance, to be severely whipped, and by the master thereof be kept constantly to work, and none suffered to converse or speak with them, during the time of their imprisonment, which shall be no longer than necessity requires.

And it is ordered, if any person shall knowingly import into any harbour of this jurisdiction, any quakers' books or writings, concerning their devilish opinions, shall pay for such book or writing, being legally proved against him or them, the sum of five pounds;

and whosoever shall disperse or couceal any such book or writing, and it he found with him or her, or in his or her house, and shall not immediately deliver the same to the next magistrate, shall forfeit or pay five pounds, for the dispersing or concealing of any such book or writing.

And it is hereby further enacted, that if any person within this colony, shall take upon them to defend the heretical opinions of the quakers, or any of their books or papers, as aforesaid, if legally proved, shall be fined for the first time fort; shillings; if they shall persist in the same and shall again defend it the second time, four pounds; if notwithstanding they shall again defend and maintain the said quakers' heretical opinions, they shall be committed to the house of correction till there be convenient passage to send them out of the land, being sentenced by the court of Assistants to banishment.

Lastly, it is hereby ordered, that what person or persons soever, shall revile the persons of the magistrates or ministers, as is usual with the quakers, such person or persons shall be severely whipped, or pay the sum of five pounds.

As I've said before in response to whiners who claim they're being oppressed, just try being a Quaker in Puritan Massachussets in the 1650s.  Good times:

From 1656 through 1661, the Massachusetts Bay Colony experienced an “invasion” of Quaker missionaries, who were not deterred by the increasingly severe punishments enacted and inflicted by the colonial authorities. In October 1659, two (William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson) were hanged at Boston; in June 1660, Mary Dyar (or Dyer) became the third; in March 1661, William Leddra became the fourth (and last) to suffer capital punishment or “martyrdom” for their Quaker beliefs.

While members of the Society of Friends rushed to Massachusetts to test the harsh sentences under the newly enacted laws, other Friends in England simultaneously petitioned Parliament and the newly restored king for relief from this official persecution. When the Massachusetts General Court sent a petition to King Charles II explaining and defending their actions, Edward Burrough, a leading Quaker writer and controversialist, answered it with [a 32-page publication entitled A Declaration of the Sad and Great Persecution and Martyrdom of the People of God, called Quakers, in New-England, for the Worshipping of God]. Its first part is a point-bypoint refutation of the Massachusetts claims; its second part is a detailed list of the punishments, cruelties, and indignities suffered by Friends at the hands of the colonial authorities; its third section is a narrative description of the three executions of 1659 and 1660, including the public statements of the condemned. 

Burrough’s publication (and a subsequent audience with the king) led to Charles’ issuance of an order halting the punishments in the fall of 1661, although they were resumed, in only slightly less severe form, the following year.

The highlights:

  • 22 have been Banished upon pain of Death.
  • 03 have been M A R T Y R E D .
  • 03 have had their Right-Ears cut.
  • 01 hath been burned in the Hand with the letter H
  • 31 Persons have received 650 Stripes.
  • 01 was beat while his Body was like a jelly.


  • Several were beat with Pitched Ropes.
  • Five Appeals made by them to England, were denied by the Rulers of Boston.
  • One thousand fourty four pounds worth of Goods hath been taken from them (being poor men) for meeting together in the fear of the Lord, and for keeping the Commands of Christ.
  • One now lyeth in Iron-fetters, condemned to dye.

Call me when this starts happening to bigots.  Until then, they can fuck off.


October 14, 2015 in And Fuck..., Conscience | Permalink | Comments (1)

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Friday, October 09, 2015

Jeb! Hates The Washington Pejorative Monument

I've seen the obelisk a couple-three million times over the years.  Designed by the same guy who was responsible for marine hospitals and other public buildings, it opened on this date in 1888.  Probability approaching one that Jeb! will never see it from his fucking house...


October 9, 2015 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0)

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Sunday, September 27, 2015

God Made Two Great Lights


The moon does not make its own light; it reflects light it receives from the sun. 

FUCKING LIARS.  I don't even believe there's gonna be an eclipse tonight.  If there is, it probably means that Trump will win the election or something.


September 27, 2015 in And Fuck..., Mars, Bitches! | Permalink | Comments (1)

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Saturday, September 26, 2015

Politics Is The Art Of The...Oh, Forget It

Saw a meme attacking Bernie because he opposed the Iraq war, but kept voting to fund military operations.  So, uh, let's vote for Hillary in the primary for being more principled!  JFC.

Memes and fish stink after three days...


September 26, 2015 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0)

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Thursday, September 24, 2015

Rules For Dating My Daughter

Actually the same for my son: not any of these.  Neither kid is chattel, for fuck's sake.


September 24, 2015 in And Fuck..., Family Life, Soaking In Patriarchy | Permalink | Comments (0)

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Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Unforgiven Kim Davis

Bless Kim Davis' heart:

"What probably hurt me the worst is when someone tells me that my God does not love me..."

Unlike those icky gay people whom God hates?

“No, I’m forgiven — washed clean,” she said.

How convenient!

“I don’t think dignity is guaranteed in the Constitution,” Davis said. “I think dignity is something that you find within yourself.”

I happen to have constitutional precedent right here, and it says even you have dignity.

“I feel really sad,” she continued, “(that) someone could be so unhappy with themselves as a person that they did not feel dignified as a human being until they got a piece of paper. I mean, there’s just so much more to life than that.”

One might say that about being "forgiven" and "washed clean"...


September 22, 2015 in And Fuck..., Constitution, Schmonstitution | Permalink | Comments (2)

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Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Kim Davis Is More Than Free To Grow A Beard

SEK at Salon:

After a brief discussion about what “Jefferson called ‘judicial tyranny'” and the separation of powers, Huckabee noted that the United States government made “accommodations” allowing the Ft. Hood shooter, Nidal Malik Hasan, to grow a beard, and for the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay to do likewise, but “you’re telling me that we cannot make an accommodation for an elected Democrat from Rowan County, Kentucky?”

Huckster ought to first note the word 'elected' in that last sentence.  He might also consider whether banning an inmate's control over his own body is the same as requiring an officer of legitimate government to follow the law when she's not being forced to be gay married, marry gay people, or, you know stop going to church and praying that gay people die and go to hell.



September 16, 2015 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0)

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Saturday, September 12, 2015


Maher's pretty much a dick, but he is slightly more accurate than a stopped clock:

On his Real Time show Friday night, Maher said:

If you say, as Kim Davis and her ilk, and Ted Cruz and all those people say that actually ‘I can ignore the rule of man because the rule book of God said’ —  then you are Iran. Then you are Saudi Arabia. Then you are Sharia law.

At one point Center for Equal Opportunity Chairwoman and conservative commentator Linda Chavez agreed that Davis was wrong, while pointing out that there are many religious people in the U.S. and “you are going to have to bring them along ” slowly.

Mocking Davis and her conservative Christian supporters, Daily Beast columnist Michael Moynihan, who was one of three panelists along with author Salman Rushdie and Chavez, replied:

I don’t think that’s her intention here, to sort of slowly bring people along to this idea of gay marriage. She comes out of jail. Every Republican is waiting to have his photo taken with her. They have a shout-and-holler Cletus ceremony, everyone is holding up crosses, and Survivor’s ‘Eye of the Tiger‘ is playing… well, I’m glad we’re all coming along very slowly.

Rushdie explained that the delusional martyr complex of Davis and her supporters is a “classic trope of the religious bigot,” noting:

While they are denying people their rights, they claim their rights are being denied. While they are persecuting people, they claim to be persecuted. While they’re behaving colossally offensively, they claim to be the offended party.

Maher added:

Especially Christians. I mean, the whole thing is based on a persecution complex. So when they say things like they’re criminalizing Christianity—really? You’re 70 percent of the population.

I will say that it's not 'Christians' who are being assholes, but rather a particular stripe.  

Speaking of stripes, real persecution is denial of basic civil rights, such as Christians have done to, oh...let's say Jews as an example pulled out of thing air (poisoning wells, causing AIDS, what's the difference?).


September 12, 2015 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (1)

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Tuesday, September 08, 2015

Christ, What An Asshole

Well, naturally:

A federal judged ordered Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis be released from custody and her contempt order be lifted Tuesday, but her lawyers said the defiant clerk plans to continue blocking marriage licenses for gay couples when she returns to work.

Davis was ordered into federal custody Sept. 3 after repeatedly refusing to issue marriage licenses to gay couples, saying it would violate her religious beliefs, despite a U.S. Supreme Court ruling against her.

A CNN journalist at the jail reported that according to her attorneys, Davis "has not changed her mind" and intends to bring the licensing process to a halt all over again when she's back on the job.

I guess she misses the lemon-baked fish and other delicacies at Gitmo.


September 8, 2015 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (3)

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Saturday, September 05, 2015

Stabbed In The Back

First they came for the bigots:

An attorney for Kim Davis, who was jailed Thursday after being found in contempt of court for refusing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples in Rowan County, Kentucky, compared the clerk's situation to the one Jews were faced with in Nazi Germany.

Mathew Staver, who is currently serving as head legal counsel for Davis, made the comparison on the "Crosstalk" radio show Wednesday, RightWingWatch.com reported. 

"[Davis is] there to do a duty, a job and the job duty was changed," Staver argued. "Does that mean that if you’re Christian, don’t apply here? ... What happened in Nazi Germany, what happened there first, they removed the Jews from government public employment, then they stopped patronizing them in their private businesses, then they continued to stigmatize them, then they were the ‘problems,’ then they killed them."

Yes, part of her duties changed, and she is expected to do them.  Jews didn't stop doing their duties, they were forced to stop by the bigots in charge, asshole.


PS--Let's not fucking forget that it was Christians who shoved Jews into the "unsavory" occupations like banking because golly, we can't have a modern economy without loans, but that's usury, so let's make those dirty people do it.  So you can go right to hell, Mathew Staver.  And you can sit in the back of the bus when you do.

September 5, 2015 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (1)