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Thursday, June 16, 2005

It Is Necessary To Lose The War In Order To Win It

So Al-Zarqawi is being blamed for the dramatic increase in Iraq's violence.  Good thing we captured al Qaeda's Number Three guy for the 317th time, proving that the insurgency is in its last throes.

What exactly is a 'last throe'?  I'm not entirely sure I can define it, but I'll know it when I see it.


June 16, 2005 | Permalink


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That's when both hands have been amputated under sharia law (or the Patriot Act).

Posted by: Linkmeister | Jun 16, 2005 4:35:18 PM

I think it's during the bottom of the ninth.

Posted by: vachon | Jun 16, 2005 5:42:09 PM

As in, "I wouldn't trust a Republican any farther than I could throe him."

Posted by: Eli | Jun 16, 2005 8:03:07 PM

Or it's a masturbation thing. I dunno.

...I got nothin'.

Posted by: Eli | Jun 16, 2005 8:03:39 PM

That reminds me of a Daily Show episode from a while back, where Jon Stewart made the comment while interviewing Tom Ridge (I think) that being the #3 guy in al Qaeda was a pretty bad gig.

Posted by: Matt F | Jun 16, 2005 9:42:14 PM

I think it's last throe as in major combat was over a year ago.

Posted by: desi | Jun 17, 2005 6:28:21 AM

I think that it's when President Bush gets all of the insurgents rounded up, and then he 'throes' the Mission Accomplished banner at them, and it wraps them up like the big Kryptonian baddie in Superman II got wrapped up by the cellophane "S" Superman threw at him.

Or that McClellan motherfucker is delusional and/or just doesn't care anymore.

Posted by: norbizness | Jun 17, 2005 6:40:18 AM

This is something right out of Catch-22. Can't you just hear it going something like:

How do you know the insurgency is slowing?

"Well, we know the insurgency is slowing because the attacks are more frequent and more intense."

And if the attacks stopped?

"We'd be very concerned."

Posted by: Horatio | Jun 17, 2005 7:10:35 AM

A 'last throe' is one of those special Judo-Christian moves...

Posted by: Scaramouche | Jun 17, 2005 7:46:37 AM

Here is the definition of Insurgence: Iraqi Citizen. I'd fight you Dumb Yankee Bastards too if you invaded my country. America is not even a country anymore it's an industry. An indication of intelligence is to learn from mistakes. Vietnam.

"You and me will all go down in History
With a sad Statue of Liberty
And a generation that didn't agree."
-System of a Down

Posted by: The Advisor | Jun 17, 2005 8:41:08 AM

Remember our last chess match? That was last throes.

Posted by: Rook | Jun 17, 2005 10:26:12 AM

Ha, your continued desire to play chess is a sign of your desperation! I must be winning. Thus, I should delay making my move even longer...

[Yes, okay, I'll get on it. I'm just so fucking behind on everything right now...]

Posted by: NTodd | Jun 17, 2005 10:37:55 AM

But people always use throes with the word last, which begs the question: can you have regular or first throes? Can you tell when a throe is coming on? (Excuse me, I feel a throe. I'll be back when I have the last one.)

Although, last throes connote dying or at least writhing about flapping one's hands in agony. I could go look it up, but I might bring a throe on.

Posted by: ellroon | Jun 17, 2005 11:00:31 AM

Isn't that an Aerosmith album? "Throes in an elevator... throe-ing it up when I'm going down... throes in an elevator..."

Hm... perhaps not....

Posted by: Ripley | Jun 17, 2005 4:46:41 PM

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