Dohiyi Mir

My Kingdom For An Adapter

Rescue, my E-commerce Site, rescue, rescue!
NTodd launches more applications than a man,
Daring an opposite to every multitasker:
His adapter is slain, and all on a Mac he surfs,
Seeking for Michael Dell in the throat of death.
Rescue, fair web, or else the day is lost!

Somehow I managed to leave my laptop's power supply in one of my classrooms yesterday, and it looks to be gone forever.  After a day without juice, I was able to borrow one from Hill Associates until a new one arrives from Dell.

Why is this Dell Hell when it was my own fault?  Because they're website is the worst fucking e-commerce experience I have had in a long time.  Maybe ever.

I searched for the appropriate adapter, which took some doing over dialup because every goddamned page is chock full of graphics, scripts and probably all sorts of unnecessary code that made each click an exercise in watching a pot boil.  After several clicks, I found what I thought was the right item but the page just said "for select Latitude D- models," so I clicked on the Compatibility button to make sure it was correct.  That shit never loaded, but no matter since I couldn't find anything on the interface that said something like, "Please, NTodd, give us your money."

Nope.  No "Buy Now" or any such selection.  Since I wasn't logged into my account, I figured maybe they wanted me to do so--still, you'd think they would make it easy for me to give them money.  Because I really wanted to, but maybe they're just very shy and felt foolish asking me for payment.

So I logged in, reloaded the item's page and still no I Can Haz Adapter button.  I tried going into my system info to see if they'd have something in the list of equipment that would link to the proper item for replacement.  Nope, just a text page.

Eventually I muddled my way through many more clicks via the Shop tab, re-entering in the same information I had already typed a couple times, and VOILA!  A magic Add To Cart button appeared.  Several more clicks and a few timeouts later and I was finally greeted with a confirmation of my order.

Memo to Michael Dell: if you're going to make it so hard for me to buy things, then you might as well just give them to me for free.

ntodd

Dell Sorta Makes Good

Back in May, Dell replaced almost every single part (left the CPU and harddrive) on my Latitude POS600.  The following week I was in Irving, TX, teaching for AT&T when I discovered that the Ethernet port didn't work at all (normally I just use WiFi).  I also found that the wireless card had about a 25% chance of not functioning and that it wouldn't cold boot unless I sacrificed a live chicken whilst chanting "Klaatu barada nikto."

So last week after our IT guy did the usual troubleshooting with highly-trained Dell technical support, they ended up deciding there was no hope for my machine and they'd send me a new one.  I just picked it up today and it is actually rather sweet: instead of a D600, now I have a D620 with a lovely widescreen panel, double the storage, and 33% more memory that's twice as fast as before.  Oh, and that means I've got a battery that lasts for more than 30 femtoseconds!

We'll see how quickly I can destroy this one.

ntodd

Rehinged

Wow, it's like I have an entirely new computer!  In fact, I pretty much do: so much was replaced that the Dell tech observed it would've been easier and cheaper for them to send me a new machine.

I'm not going to jinx things like I did before, but allow me to express some moderate enthusiasm for my apparently working, sturdy laptop.  For now.

ntodd

For Whom The Dell Tolls

Had an appointment downtown and walked around a little in the lovely weather while my laptop was being repaired...

...'cept it wasn't being repaired. 

My LCD panel hinges were broken--AGAIN.  One of my coworkers says it's because I get over-exuberant when I surf for porn, which is not entirely accurate.  Anyway, after a saga that began in February I was looking forward to resolution, but Alex the Dell Repair Dude noticed that my computer was also running fairly hot (I've got the burn marks on my lap to prove it) and that there were some other problems.

Long story kinda short:

All told, I'm getting a new motherboard, DVD player, wrist rest and bottom case.  Oh, and my LCD panel is sorta fixed now, but I'm not allowed to close it until the other stuff is finished tomorrow or Wednesday.  Did I mention this is a refurbished machine Dell sent me to replace the original POS they couldn't fix a couple years ago?

The tech was good.  Dell?  Still not happy with their QA or support processes.

ntodd

PS--Crossposted on my telecom blog...

57:33

That's how long I was on the phone with Dell's Gold Support today. My laptop LCD panel has come unhinged--second time in 3 years--and I wanted it fixed.  The lady was nice and all, but apparently she had to go into at least 2 different systems and run 3 or more different processes just to send me hinges and some extra LRFs.

Bah.

ntodd

PS--Crossposted on my telecom blog...

Fun With Keyboard Layouts

Mexico, being the energetic, thoughtful dog that he is, kindly removed the 't' key from my laptop a week ago.  My not-entirely-lame attempt at repair lasted until yesterday, when it basically became nonfunctioning.

Replacements for my model were out of stock--leading me to believe that this design sucks if they are so in demand--and I won't be getting one for a couple more days.  The only regular-sized keyboards I have lying around are ancient and the laptop requires either a docking station or USB keyboard.  Maybe I could get my Mac keyboard to work, but I'm using both machines for multitasking stuff.  Thus I'm pretty much SOL.

However, I downloaded a keyboard layout tool from Microsoft¹ that is pretty nifty.  On my old laptop I had a similar application that let me create custom Cyrillic key layouts, but it was a third-party, Russian-specific tool while this puppy functions as a part of Windows and handles lots of languages.  Oh, and I hadn't reinstalled the software on my new machine anyway, since I can't find the original floppies (or my never-been-used floppy drive).

Anyhoo, I just assigned the letter 't' to the tilde key for now (til death do us part?).  It makes typing a bit weird, and I often hit Tab by mistake, but it's working out okay.  And since I've got the tool, I built a new Russian layout as well--I never learned how to type on the traditional Soviet-style keyboard and I don't have a Cyrillic overlay, so I created my own quasi-phonetic version that I can type on with my English keys. 

слаба богу!

ntodd

1 - A couple complaints about Microsoft's requirements to install: first I had to download a program that verified I had a legit version of Windows and gave me a confirmation code to enter at the download site; the app also requires .NET to be installed, which is not a biggie since I'm running XP, but there is no freaking reason for that crap to manipulate a keyboard.  Damn control freaks.

Unhinged

No, this isn't a post about Michelle Malkin's latest screed disguised as a book.  Got my Dell notebook back today after the LCD panel and its hinges were repaired.  NTodd happy with that, though annoyed that the break occurred and the Dell repair guy was all pissy about "someone" trying to fix it--yeah, sorry that I wanted the piece of metal sticking out to, you know, not stick out until I could get it repaired.

Bad quality assurance and techs copping a 'tude.  Michael Dell: your company and its products are as unhinged as Malkin.

ntodd

Cakeholes And Laptops

Spocko writes in response to my whining about Dell:

You just shut your cakehole Mr. Man! The corporations will track you down and sue your ass!

That is the good advice they got from Forbes in their "Bloggers ATTACK!" story and so you better retract your comments. I'M WAITING...

...

If you don't like their products go buy something else like an IBM Thinkpad NOT MADE BY THE CHINESE! (just get one that was made before they sold out to Lenovo which I think is owned by Jay Leno, he's a comedian NOT a laptop maker by the way!)

Dell computers are made in Micheal Dell's very own house! Michael Dell is a great man, an intelligent man and a man for all seasons. If Michael Dell didn't exist we would have to invent him.

You are just lucky I came here to show you the light on your blog, otherwise your website would be shut down quicker than you can say ISO 9001 approved manufacturing facility!

Hmm...

Once blogger attacks begin, victims can resort to libel and defamation lawsuits, but "filing a libel lawsuit, the way you would against a newspaper, is like using 18th-century battlefield tactics to counter guerrilla warfare," says David Potts, a Toronto lawyer who is writing a book on cyberlibel. "You'll accomplish nothing and just get more ridicule." He tells clients to find a third party to bash the bloggers.

Perhaps "Spocko", if that is his real name, is one of those Third Party Bashers, trying to stop me from speaking the truth about Dell.  Developing...

ntodd

Go Figure

AP:

So Dell Inc. isn't immune to the vagaries of the personal computer business either.

Long a leader whose low-cost model drove rivals crazy, Dell lowered its earnings guidance for its just-ended fiscal third quarter, citing costly failed computer parts and sluggish growth.

Oh, like the failed LCD panel hinges on my 5-month old laptop, which replaced the 6-month old laptop whose motherboard cooked itself?  Who knew that slipping QA, not to mention service, could cause problems for a company?

ntodd

Dell Hell II - The Wrath Of NTodd

The LCD panel hinges on my POS Latitude D600 have lost structural integrity.  I now really do officially hate Dell--the saga continues...

ntodd