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Saturday, May 16, 2015

An Apple Watch On Everybody's Wrist

Soon there will be apps that can 3D print food right from your wrist so we won't need SNAP!  At least for people who can afford the fucking watch...


May 16, 2015 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

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Sunday, May 03, 2015

Kepler Wouldn't Understand Either

Via RMJ, I see that there's a conflict between native Hawaiians and astronomers who want to build a telescope on Mauna Kea, considered sacred ground by the latter.  

I love science.  I love space.  I love looking at space.  I find looking through a scope to be a religious experience.

I wouldn't build one on somebody's religiously-significant land, especially when it had been stolen by our nation.  Hell, man, we've got goddamned scopes in space.  Why the fuck do we need to mess up other people's shit?

The confused astronomers are absolutely soaking in privilege as invisible as cosmic rays we bathe in our whole lives...


May 3, 2015 in And Fuck..., Mars, Bitches! | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack

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If You Can't Do The Time (To Death), Don't Do The Crime (Of Being Black)

I am rather sick of hearing the refrain "if you can't do the time" in the context of all these isolated incidents of black people being killed.  It's hard not to avoid criminality when everything is criminalized, whether it's wearing saggy pants or simply walking while black, which is essentially what Freddie Gray was doing when unlawfully arrested in the first place without probably cause.

From now on, when I see anybody sing that same bullshit song, my retort will be simple: FUCK YOU, RACIST ASSHOLE.  The end.


May 3, 2015 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

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Friday, April 24, 2015

You Say Sovereignty, I Say Criminality

Apropos of the aimless revolution thing I posted last night, here's a fun one:

Gun Owners of America director Larry Pratt has a long history in the far-right fringesof the anti-government movement, so it is hardly a surprise that members of the radical “sovereign citizen” movement — who believe that they are not beholden to U.S. laws —are now courting his favor.

Pratt was a guest on VCY America’s “Crosstalk” program on Tuesday when a listener called in identifying himself as a “sovereign” from Wisconsin and asked him, “I just wondered if somebody of your stature would stand up and scream from the rooftops that these 60 million codes and regulations don’t apply to us, only to U.S. citizens.”

While Pratt didn’t address the “sovereign citizen” movement directly, he told the caller that most federal laws are unconstitutional anyway and “should be stricken.”

“Well, I think you can make the same point with another argument, that the body of, the corpus of law and regulations you’re pointing to, almost none of it comes under the Constitution,” he said. “It gives powers to the federal government that were not given to the federal government in the Constitution. They should be stricken.”

Yeah, well, challenge those things in court.  If it's legal, don't matter none it ain't konstitooshunul until those damned activist judges get involved.  Your resistance is too illegit to acquit if you ain't scrupulous.  Rebellion oft has consequences, beyotch...


April 24, 2015 in And Fuck..., Constitution, Schmonstitution | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Wednesday, April 15, 2015

A 10-Foot-Tall Crybaby

I have no love for John Stossel, but even a glibertarian nut finds a nut sometimes:

Fox Business host John Stossel joined Fox News' "The O'Reilly Factor" on Tuesday night to tell host Bill O'Reilly that Christianity is not under attack.

"Your 'war on Christianity' — you’re just a 10-foot-tall crybaby," Stossel told O'Reilly. "It’s not so bad. Christians aren’t being killed."

"Not yet," O'Reilly jumped into say.

"And not in America, and they’re not going to be," Stossel said.

O'Reilly then claimed that Christians are "verbally being killed."

"You shouldn’t be diminished because you believe a certain way," O'Reilly said. "Aren’t you outraged by that?"

"What’s diminished?" Stossel asked in response, adding that Christians make up a majority in the U.S. "You've won."

"It’s not a matter of winning. It’s a matter of respect," O'Reilly replied.

Dear Bill: Fuck you.


April 15, 2015 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Monday, April 13, 2015

Maherism Is The Motherlode Of Being A Dick

No, this cannot be:

You know what you call someone who makes sweeping generalizations on billions of people based on the extreme actions of a few? A bigot. Bill Maher, for example, is a bigot. And if you’re a fan of his smug, dismissive shtick, you’re a bigot too.

He says some funny things sometimes.  Even some insightful things sometimes.  Still a dick.


April 13, 2015 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

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Thursday, April 02, 2015

Today In Tomfoolery


Appearing yesterday on CNN, Senator Tom Cotton (R) urged critics of Indiana’s “religious freedom” law to get “perspective,” suggesting the treatment of LGBT people in Indiana compared favorably to countries where gay people are executed.

“I think it’s important we have a sense of perspective,” Cotton said. “In Iran they hang you for the crime of being gay.”

Here's some perspective: ISIS beheads you for the crime of being Christian.  So maybe baking cakes for queers ain't so bad.  Asshole.


April 2, 2015 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

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Wednesday, April 01, 2015

Meanwhile In Assholistan

I love the smell of backlash in the morning:

  • Indiana pizza bigots

    Members of the online foodie community did not take kindly to Memories’ ownership bragging about being the first business to publicly implement the discriminatory power granted by the RFRA. Robert S. pointed out the obvious on Yelp, writing that “in all my queer life, I’ve never known a gay to cater their wedding with pizza.”

    Carol M. wondered if they had “Gaydar installed at the door,” and whether the O’Connors “ever considered that you may be serving closeted homosexuals.”

    John S. kindly informed the establishment that despite its protestations of religiosity, it was violating a number of Biblical dietary laws.

    But it was Michael N. who figured out what the O’Connors were probably up to. “This is a transparent attempt to fly the Christian martyr ‘mean Gays are calling us bigots’ flag in the hopes that other mouth-breathers in the area will rally to them and their crappy pizza the way Southerners rallied to Chick Fil-A,” he wrote.

  • Arkansas doctor douchenozzle

    Well that was satisfyingly fast. After news broke late last week that Alabama state Sen. Larry Stutts, an OB/GYN, was trying to repeal a 1999 law passed after a woman died under his care, Stutts turned around Tuesday and withdrew the bill, muttering that he’d have gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for those meddling reporters.

    Stutts is very sad that people mischaracterized his motives for dropping the mandate for insurance coverage for up to 48 hours of maternity care:

    Stutts had said this is so women can leave earlier if they want to and the decision to leave would be decided between patient and doctor on a case-by-case basis.

    The current law creates shared responsibility for the patient and doctor if the new mother wishes to be released early. This means the doctor must inform the woman of advantages and disadvantages of an early discharge.

    Yes, this is indeed where we yell “Bullshit!” and point out that the current law doesn’t shackle women to the wall and require them to stay in the hospital for 48 hours after giving birth; it merely requires insurance to pay for that long a stay if the woman wants.

Sunshine is the best asshole disinfectant.


April 1, 2015 in And Fuck..., Soaking In Patriarchy | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Tuesday, March 31, 2015

I Enjoy Originalists Who Cite Losers

Yeah, okay:

“Prospective presidential nominee Mike Huckabee called Saturday for the imposition of term limits on U.S. Supreme Court justices, saying that the nation’s founders never intended to create lifetime, irrevocable posts. ‘Nobody should be in an unelected position for life,’ the former Arkansas governor said in an interview, expanding on remarks he made during an hour-long speech at the Nixon Presidential Library in Yorba Linda.

‘If the president who appoints them can only serve eight years, the person they appoint should never serve 40. That has never made sense to me; it defies that sense of public service.’ Huckabee said the Federalist Papers, written by Alexander Hamilton, James Madison and John Jay, supported his view that the nation’s founders came close to imposing judicial term limits in the Constitution; they never could have imagined people would want to serve in government for decades, he said.”
Huckabee’s quarrel is not only with constitutional language, but with what that very influential document of the founding era – the Federalist Papers – has to say on the subject of the terms of service on the Supreme Court.

The most authoritative and thorough Federalist Paper on “the judicial department” is No. 78, published on May 28, 1788.   Like all other papers, it was published under the pen name “Publius,” but this one was actually written by Alexander Hamilton.   To suggest, as Gov. Huckabee does, that Hamilton and the other authors of the Federalist “came close to imposing judicial term limits” does not take account of Paper No. 78.

Even if Hamilton, et al, suggested in the Federalist Papers that the Framers "came close" (which they did not, in fact), who the fuck cares?  The only thing that matters is what was actually proposed and ratified.  All such an assertion shows is that the Framers were not monolithic, and the losers lost the question.

Might as well quote the Articles of Confederation. or the Constitution(s) of the CSA, or any proclamation of King George III to support your point.


PS--I should add Barry Goldwater and Roger Taney to the Parade of Horrible Losers.  For bookended completeness.

March 31, 2015 in And Fuck..., Constitution, Schmonstitution | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Something the Rand Pauls of the world miss: there's private property, then there's private property. 

I certainly can discriminate in my own home.  It's not a place of business, not expected to operate in the public sphere like a business.  Yet even there my property rights are not absolute because they are protected by society, and do come into conflict with others' at times (think raw sewage streaming downhill, etc) so will have some natural limits.

A business might be privately held and own private property, but also inherently operates in the public sphere.  It enjoys societal protection (arguably even more than private homes), and ought to expect regulation to protect the public given its public nature.  One compelling state interest is to make sure rights of travel, access to necessary services, and general human dignity are not infringed.

Think of showing some fucking compassion like paying your goddamned business taxes.  It's necessary in a civilized society.  Private property doesn't trump that, especially when you're equivocating.


March 31, 2015 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

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Monday, March 30, 2015

Trolling The Trolls

This is kinda funny:

Former New Hampshire Gov. John Sununu (R) said on Monday during an appearance on Fox News that President Obama is "inciting" birther conspiracy theorists by planning a trip to Kenya this summer.

“I think his trip back to Kenya is going to create a lot of chatter and commentary amongst some of the hard right, who still don’t see him as having been born in the U.S.," Sununu said on the show "America's Newsroom."

"I personally think he’s just inciting some chatter on an issue that should have been a dead issue a long time ago,” he said.

I think Obama's being president is incitement enough for these cranks.  But thanks for the laugh, you washed up asshole.


March 30, 2015 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Friday, March 27, 2015

Fucking Fourth Graders In State Government

LOL, the NH Leg passed a resolution "encouraging student participation in state government" after shaming themselves in front of kids and the whole nation.  But check this out:

Rep. Renny Cushing, who sponsored the students' bill, addressed the chamber Wednesday and apologized to all the students in the state for his colleagues' actions. Cushing said he first came to the statehouse as a fourth-grader and later, before he was elected, helped bring a bill to the floor that was defeated.

"No one made fun of the legislation. No one mocked me," he said. "What I remember is I was treated with respect."

Cushing said he's talked to the kids.

"In the aftermath, there's been a fair amount of attention to what we did that day," Cushing said. "I told them it's not always like this here. That we're really not as mean and cranky as we were that day."

When Cushing finished speaking, the lawmakers rose to their feet and applauded for several seconds, but when a motion was made to enter his comments into the permanent record, a minority of legislators shouted, "No!"

Petulant assholes to the end over trivial shit.  I'm surprised they didn't make fart sounds while Cushing was speaking.


March 27, 2015 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Sunday, March 22, 2015

King's Big Tell


Speaking as a Jewish-American who thinks Netanyahu is a corrupt, power-for-power’s sake bigoted hack whose policies are a clear and present danger to Israel, let me first say to Representative King:

Fuck you.

With that reasoned and considered reply out of the way, let’s parse this.

“I don’t understand”

Considering the speaker, that clause doesn’t narrow it down very much.

“how Jews in America”

Not, notice, “American Jews.”  This line is the tell, the crack that lets you see into what smells to me like a very familiar trope of anti-Semitism.  I don’t want to be paranoid, but King’s plain text tells you he sees within America a group defined by an affiliation, an bond of connection to a country or a cause that is not native to their home.  We are Jews sojourning in America, and it may come to pass (how appropriate for the season!) that there will arise in Washington a King who knows not Moses.  Or so this false prophet suggests.

“Democrats first and Jewish second.”

First, carnally know you again, King.  I for one, am a Democrat at least in part because of my Jewish education.  Specifically, Isaiah 58 v. 1-12.  I may have lost any belief in a sky god — but tikkun olam* and that strand of the Jewish tradition remains a touchstone.

Read the whole thing about just how un-American Steve King is.


PS--A refresher on tikkun olam.

March 22, 2015 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Thursday, March 19, 2015

Dinosaurs Among Us

Do chickens have large talons?

 - NH Representative Napoleon Dynamite

Via a few people on FB, I see our upside down neighbors to the right are their usual fun selves:

NH1.com's Shari Small explains that the students had proposed House Bill 373, which would name the red-tailed hawk as the official "state raptor" of New Hampshire. The bill cleared the Environment and Agriculture committee, leading to a floor debate in which Rep. Warren Groen (R-Rochester) decided to make an extended joke about the red-tailed hawk and Planned Parenthood that also, in all likelihood, taught the children what abortion is:

"[The Red Tail Hawk] grasps [its prey] with its talons then uses its razor sharp beak to basically tear it apart limb by limb, and I guess the shame about making this a state bird is it would serve as a much better mascot for Planned Parenthood."

Rep. John Burt (R-Goffstown) took a softer tack, instead informing the children that their concerns were frivolous and unworthy of his and the legislature's time: "Bottom line, if we keep bringing more of these bills, and bills, and bills forward that really I think we shouldn't have in front of us, we'll be picking a state hot dog next."

The bill, along with the children's remaining faith in representative democracy, was killed. The vote was 133 to 160, because the other thing about having a 400-person legislative body is that sometimes hundreds of representatives just don't show up.

Christ, what assholes.

I'm cool with their voting down the proposal.  That certainly shows how the sausage machine works, and the vast majority of introduced bills are not eventually passed--this one at least made it out of committee and got some floor time.

Yet there wasn't a debate.  It was abject mockery and, well...4th grade antics bullshit.  And bringing your anti-choice propaganda into the mix?  Epic douchenozzle-ry.

What does Rep Groen think of our national emblem which, you know, also is a raptor with talons and a razor sharp beak, not to mention a penchant for ripping up prey?  Oddly enough, just today the National Constitution Center discussed several Founding Myths, including whether people wanted the turkey as the United States' official mascot: 

While turkeys clearly had one fan among the Founders, Benjamin Franklin, it appears that the birds weren’t close to challenging the eagle as the nation’s proud patriotic symbol. The real debate over the Great Seal started in 1776 and it lasted six years.   Franklin’s idea was a design that featured a Biblical scene featuring Moses and Pharaoh. Jefferson wanted a scene depicting the children of Israel and two Anglo-Saxon mythical figures, and John Adams wanted another mythical figure: Hercules. Eventually, the eagle won out as the national symbol. 

Why yes, I have blogged about the Great Seal before.  Ahem.

Anywayz, I shouldn't be surprised.  NH representatives don't even want 17yos to vote in primaries--presumably because only mature people like them can make good voting decisions--so why would they want to show any decorum and provide good role models for their state's youngsters?


PS--Of course, they don't want people voting.  That's authoritarian.  Or something.

March 19, 2015 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Thursday, March 12, 2015

Is Earth Not In Space?

There is no Planet B, asshole:

Two days after bombing in a speech before a firefighters’ union, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) was rebuffed in a Senate subcommittee hearing while trying to criticize NASA’s increased emphasis on studying climate change, Mashable reported.

“We can’t go anywhere if the Kennedy Space Center goes underwater and we don’t know it — and that’s understanding our environment,” NASA Administrator Charles Bolden told Cruz on Thursday. “It is absolutely critical that we understand Earth’s environment because this is the only place we have to live.” 

The exchange came during a meeting of the Senate Commerce Subcommittee on Space, which Cruz now chairs. Cruz expressed skepticism toward President Barack Obama’s $18.6 billion budget request for the agency — specifically recent increases in funding for studying Earth phenomena compared to a slight decrease in money for space exploration efforts.

“I would suggest that almost any American would agree that the core function of NASA is to explore space,” Cruz said. “That’s what inspires little boys and little girls across this country. It’s what sets NASA apart from any agency in the country.”

Holden explained that the decrease in funding for outer space-related projects was due in part to a desire to reduce the cost of those types of missions.

“The fact that earth science [funding] has increased, I’m proud to say, has enabled us to understand our planet far better than we ever did before,” Holden added. “It’s absolutely critical.”

For example, Holden said, NASA supports studies in Cruz’s home state of Texas that measured the effects of emptying out the state’s aquifers on local land elevations.

“That’s just looking at our environment, trying to make sure that we have a better place for all of us in which to live,” he told the senator. “I think that’s critical.”

Probably not a good idea to send our astronauts out there with nothing to come home to, you maniac.


March 12, 2015 in And Fuck..., Biofuels, Bitches!, Mars, Bitches! | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

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Wednesday, March 11, 2015

The Vaguely Unconstitutional Logan Act

I've seen lots of confident assertions online that the Barely-literate GOP Letter is clearly a Logan violation.  I'm much more confident that it is not, that the DoJ will never pursue charges, and that the Act itself is unconstitutional.

I find it instructive that there have been absolutely no convictions under the Act in it's 226-year history.  This, of course, means there is almost no case law.

One favorite ruling I've already alluded to is United States v. Curtiss-Wright (1936).  The problem with citing this one is that SCOTUS' decision doesn't address the Logan Act at all, and is fundamentally about whether the Executive has wide latitude in foreign affairs without Congressional delegation.

Beyond that, I found an interesting district court case from 1964 wherein DEFENDANTS tried to use the Act as a way of undermining the plaintiff's standing in a lawsuit:

One line of attack is that plaintiff procured the NIOC contract through the commission of federal criminal offenses. He is specifically charged by defendants with having violated five criminal statutes [including] the Logan Act...

The Logan Act makes it a crime for any citizen of the United States directly or indirectly to commence or carry on correspondence or intercourse with any foreign government or any officer or agent thereof "with intent * * * to defeat the measures of the United States."

Such evidence as there may be in this record of a violation of the Logan Act places in issue plaintiff's specific intent. That subjective circumstance would alone be sufficient to defeat this summary judgment motion, were the motion grounded only on a transgression of that statute.
Another infirmity in defendants' claim that plaintiff violated the Logan Act is the existence of a doubtful question with regard to the constitutionality of that statute under the Sixth Amendment. That doubt is engendered by the statute's use of the vague and indefinite terms, "defeat" and "measures." See United States v. Shackney, 333 F.2d 475, (2d Cir. 1964); Note, The Void-For-Vagueness Doctrine in the Supreme Court, 109 U.Pa.L.Rev. 67 (1960); E. Freund, The Use of Indefinite Terms in Statutes, 30 Yale L.J. 437 (1921). Neither of these words is an abstraction of common certainty or possesses a definite statutory or judicial definition.

Surely the GOP Doofuses had intent to defeat measures of the United States, right?  Correspondent inference aside, I'm not sure the letter in question really demonstrates it.  

Was there any sense of negotiation contained therein?  Not that I could see.  

It was ignorant, misguided, and politically unsound--no argument there.  Yet all I read was a not-unreasonable observation that if the Senate doesn't like the deal (unstated: and actually received it from the president for advice and consent), the Senate wouldn't approve it.  

The burden of proof in court is slightly higher than on social media.  I'm fairly certain that no prosecutor, however good, would be able to prove intent beyond a reasonable doubt.

Just the fact that we can debate the intent at all shows how shaky a case would be.  What's more, there have been myriad examples of both private citizens and legislators engaging in various forms of contact with foreign leaders in myriad contexts.  That includes Senators Sparkman and McGovern, Candidate Jesse Jackson, Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi, and Senator/Candidate Obama.  Sometimes the Logan Act was tossed around, but no indictments materialized, so why would there in this case?

It's precisely the ambiguity present in our current arguments that also make the law itself questionable.  Justice Sutherland wrote in Connally v. General Construction Co (1926):

[A] statute which either forbids or requires the doing of an act in terms so vague that men of common intelligence must necessarily guess at its meaning and differ as to its application violates the first essential of due process of law. International Harvester Co. v. Kentucky, 234 U. S. 216234 U. S. 221Collins v. Kentucky, 234 U. S. 634234 U. S. 638.

Leaving aside jokes about the GOP Furrin Affairs Jeanasses and common intelligence, I find the above citation possibly ironic because Sutherland also wrote that 1936 opinion everybody is quoting out of context.

Bottom-line: there's so much vagueness and ambiguity in all aspects of the Great Letter Brouhaha that I'm convinced this stupid fucking petition will definitely be the worst act of clicktivism ever perpetrated.  And that is criminal.


PS--Lawfare has more (h/t Diane Sweet).

March 11, 2015 in And Fuck..., Constitution, Schmonstitution | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

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Goddamned Federalists Hated Free Speech

The Alien & Sedition Acts were shite.  So's the Logan Act.  As I've said elsewhere, there's a good reason we've seen 0 convictions and only 1 indictment (in 1803) ever.

I'm still rather disturbed that any liberal is suggesting the Dumb GOP 47 violated it (let alone committed sedition or treason), even as a rhetorical exercise.


PS--And enough with citing United States v. Curtiss-Wright, for fuck's sake.  Badly parsing non-germane precedent is a stupid hobby.

March 11, 2015 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

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Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Sounds Reasonable

But the buzz persists:

President Obama leaves office on Jan. 20, 2017 – or does he? The Internet’s abuzz with talk about the myriad of ways Obama might seek to extend his White House role – sparked in part by radio conjecture from conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh – and now at least one likely presidential candidate, Ben Carson, has weighed in to say: Don’t worry, Obama will leave.

First, the question from WND to Carson: “Who would stop Obama from remaining in office past his second term?”

And Carson’s reply, via email: “We the people would oppose it through our Constitution, the 22nd Amendment of which forbids more than two terms. Even some of the timid people in the other two branches of government would be willing to stand behind the fortified walls of our Constitution.”

I'm pretty sure that Obama would stop Obama.  Really, at this point why the fuck would he want to stay anyway?


March 10, 2015 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Monday, March 09, 2015

Dear Iran: We've Got Nuclear Grade Crazy Aimed Right At You

PoliticoRepublican senators want to give Iranian leaders — and the president — a refresher on just how fucking nuts they are.


March 9, 2015 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

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Saturday, February 28, 2015

The Undiscovered Country

By now you've probably seen this:

Former Arizona county sheriff Richard Mack, a fierce opponent of Obamacare and a leader in the "constitutional sheriff" movement, is struggling to pay his medical bills after he and his wife each faced serious illnesses. The former sheriff and his wife do not have health insurance and started a GoFundMe campaign to solicit donations from family and friends to cover the costs of their medical care.

"Because they are self-employed, they have no medical insurance and are in desperate need of our assistance," reads a note on Mack's personal website.

Mack, the founder of the Constitutional Sheriffs and Peace Officers Association, suffered a heart attack in January and is in recovery. His wife fell ill late last year. Mack is on the board of Oath Keepers, a right-wing fringe group made up of police and military veterans, and is known forsupporting Cliven Bundy in his standoff against the federal government. He is also an ardent opponent of Obamacare.

"The States do not have to take or support or pay for Obamacare or anything else from Washington DC. The States are not subject to federal direction," he wrote on his website, outlining how state governments can block President Obama.

Would that I had the same amount of compassion as the folks giving this selfish, ignorant asshole money:

Some people like to say a conservative is a former liberal who got mugged.  Could the corollary be a liberal is a former conservative who needed help from the community?  I'm not so sure.

I've only got the emotional space right now to engage in schadenfreude.  Good on the better people who are finding common humanity with a person in need, no matter how much his problems are self-inflicted as he advocated destructive policy.


February 28, 2015 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack