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Friday, April 04, 2014

Leave It To Saletan To Fire Wildly

He must've been reading one of my FB threads.  Because the CEO of a major brand is just like any regular employee, so we should all be working super hard to get rid of every PropH8 donor or...we've failed or are hypocrites or something.  

Anyway, I applaud his effort at being centrist-fairest, and wish him luck on his endeavor.  He should remember, however, that you can't force the Magical Free Market to do anything against its Superior Will and Wisdom.  The Invisible Hand Job didn't want to do shake Eich's hand knowing where it has been, but probably doesn't mind doing business with somebody taking orders at the Apple Store who wasted a couple bucks on something unconstitutional.

I'm willing to bet that Hobby Lobby wouldn't give me a C-level job, either, given my vocal and public support of the birth control non-mandate.  Tough fucking shit.


April 4, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

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Thursday, April 03, 2014

Who's Supposed To Eat Cake, Now?

Well, duh:

[I]f we think that money in politics is a problem; if we think it creates the appearance of corruption, alienates non-wealthy citizens from the democratic process, perverts incentives for politicians and candidates, and creates an unequal system in which the speech of the rich drowns out the speech of everyone else — and all of those things are already the long-standing status quo — we can no longer seek to address the problem by preventing money from flowing into politics. The Supreme Court is clearly not going to meet a new spending restriction that it likes any time soon. Instead of attempting to dictate how the wealthy spend their money, we are probably just going to have to take away their money.

If the super-rich had less money, they would have less money to spend on campaigns and lobbying. And unlike speech, the government is very clearly allowed to take away people’s money. It’s in the Constitution and everything.

I've quoted a number of Founders, Adam Smith, Teddy Roosevelt and other smart folks enough on this issue.  If we don't want an aristocracy, we need to tax the rich more--their income, their accumulated wealth, and the estates they pass on to their scions.  It's that simple.  

And no, I don't give a shit if they've "earned" it or not (which they really haven't, not the riches beyond their wildest dreams of avarice).  They benefit inordinately from society and government, and have to put figurative skin in the game instead of gaming the system to the detriment of the common weal.  They should get this into their heads whilst they're still attached to shoulders: it's better than the alternative.

Ohhhh, does that hurt Mr Perkins' and Mr Koch's feefees?


April 3, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Saturday, March 29, 2014

Constitutional Weather Reports

It has given me great pleasure to sustain the Constitutionality of laws that I believe to be as bad as possible, because I thereby helped to mark the difference between what I would forbid and what the Constitution permits.

 - Justice Holmes

Because of this and this.  H.R.2413 - Weather Forecasting Improvement Act of 2013, Constitutional Authority Statement:

Congress has the power to enact this legislation pursuant
to the following:
Article I, Section 8, Clause 3 and Article I, Section 8, Clause 18 

Presumably Clause 3 means "to regulate Commerce" and Clause 18 refers to my beloved elastic clause.  Makes sense because, you know, NOAA is under Commerce and Congress can do whatever it deems is Necessary and Proper.

So I guess it's totes consitutional.  Fuckwits.


March 29, 2014 in And Fuck..., Constitution, Schmonstitution | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Because, Naturally, Understanding Climate Will Not Help Us Predict The Fucking Weather

Oh, jesus fuck (via Digby):

House Republicans want government scientists to focus on predicting storms, not climate change.

The House will vote next week on a Republican bill to require the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) to focus its efforts on storm predictions instead of researching climate change.

Members will consider the Weather Forecasting Improvement Act, H.R. 2413, as early as Tuesday.

Rep. Jim Bridenstine (R-Okla.) introduced his bill last year after tornadoes hit his home state. Those storms led him to argue on the House floor the government spends too much on climate change research and not enough on developing weather forecasting tools to predict tornadoes and other events.

Even though my old weather station (which used to provide data to NWS) gave up the ghost a few years ago and most likely won't be resurrected any time soon, I dig our national weather departments almost as much as I do the postal department.  They use science for good.  Part of that science is understanding the climate mechanisms that make our weather.  To "develop weather forecasting tools" necessarily means studying climate change, you fuckwits.


March 29, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

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Friday, March 21, 2014

All Little Russians Agree: It's Kyiv, Ukraine

Indeed, I prefer 'Kyiv' to 'Kiev', just as I prefer 'Ukraine' to 'the Ukraine'.  Because fuck the Russians and their linguistic hegemony.


March 21, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Really, Just Fuck Anti-vaxxers

It's been a couple years since the anti-vaxxers won their battle over rationality in Vermont.  In doing so, they tossed aside history, herd immunity, and any sense of adult responsibility for protecting children when there's so much shit out there we cannot mitigate.  I will always heap scorn upon them.


March 21, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Sunday, March 16, 2014

Miracle On Bread

Fuck John Cole.  I love the tangy zip of Miracle Whip.


March 16, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Friday, March 14, 2014

Almost Verbatim Fox News

Don't pay people, don't help people.  And fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.


March 14, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Proposals Aren't The Same As Actual Things

Speaking of old men yelling at clouds, I'm annoyed by all this "the Web is 25 years old today" bullshit.  Sir Tim wrote a proposal in March of '89, yes.  It was a fucking paper, vaporware, not the actual Web.  

Celebrate its forward thinking and significance, sure.  But to say the World Wide Web is 25 years old is like saying a Turing Machine was a real device, so we've had digital computers since 1937 (apologies to Konrad Zuse).

The Web will be 25 in 2 years.  On the same date I'll turn 47.  End of story.


PS--Don't be fooled by Internaut Day.  The Web became a publicly accessible service on August 6, 1991.

PPS--There are too many Internet anniversaries nowadays.  Please eliminate three.

PPPS--I am not a crackpot.

March 12, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Friday, March 07, 2014

Oh Yes, Bernie Really Needs Ralph's Advice

This is fucking rich:

Ralph Nader is irritated with Bernie Sanders.

Sanders won’t return his calls, won’t combine forces with other progressives, and as a result, he isn’t getting as much done as he could, the frequent independent presidential candidate and consumer advocate says.

Nader detailed his grievances Thursday in a blunt two-page letter to the Vermont independent senator with the heading, “Bernie, we thought we knew ye!” Then Nader called the Burlington Free Press and shared the letter, which accuses Sanders of “speechifying” but getting nowhere, because he is a “Lone Ranger.”

“In the past year, I have called you many times at your Washington office. Your staff dutifully takes my messages, forwards them to you and you do not call back. Never,” Nader said in his letter.

Nader can sod off.  For a more thoughtful analysis of Bernie's potential run--which I don't entirely disagree with--see pm carpenter.


March 7, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Thursday, March 06, 2014

Who Lost Crimea?

Большое спасибо, Obama!  Wimp wears bike helmets whilst Putin rides horses sans shirt.  And kills bears with his teeth.

Although really when you get down to it, we should blame John Quincy Adams.  He coddled Russia when he was Ambassador, and showed Americans have no resolve by signing the Treaty of Ghent, which returned everything to status quo ante even though the British burned Washington.  


From then on, nobody respected America.  Fucking Whigs, man.


March 6, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Monday, March 03, 2014

This Is Why I Tend To Call Stupid Fucking Anti-vaxxers Mean Names

Chris Mooney at Mother Jones:

Vaccine denial is dangerous. We know this for many reasons, but just consider one of them: In California in 2010, 10 children died in a whooping cough outbreak that was later linked, in part, to the presence of 39 separate clusters of unvaccinated children in the state. It's that simple: When too many children go unvaccinated, vaccine-preventable diseases spread more easily, and sometimes children die. Nonetheless, as scientifically unfounded fears about childhood vaccines causing autism have proliferated over the past decade or more, a minority of parents are turning to "personal belief exemptions," so-called "alternative vaccine schedules," and other ways to dodge or delay vaccinating their kids.

So as a rational person, you might think it would be of the utmost importance to try to talk some sense into these people. But there's a problem: According to a major new study in the journal Pediatrics, trying to do so may actually make the problem worse. The paper tested the effectiveness of four separate pro-vaccine messages, three of which were based very closely on how the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) itself talks about vaccines. The results can only be called grim: Not a single one of the messages was successful when it came to increasing parents' professed intent to vaccinate their children. And in several cases the messages actually backfired, either increasing the ill-founded belief that vaccines cause autism or even, in one case, apparently reducing parents' intent to vaccinate.

What's the fucking point of being civil when incontrovertible facts and rational discourse doesn't make them change their goddamned minds?  They can bite my shiny, metal, vaccinated ass.


March 3, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

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Friday, February 28, 2014

I'm Pretty Sure You're Not A Uke, Motherfucker


"We are all Ukrainians," McCain said in an interview with TIME magazine published Friday. The comments came ahead of President Barack Obama's announcement that he would address the events.

McCain said that Russian President Vladimir Putin thinks "this is a chess match reminiscent of the Cold War and we need to realize that and act accordingly." The senior senator from Arizona added that that didn't mean he foresaw "a conflict with Russia, but we need to take certain measures that would convince Putin that there is a very high cost to actions that he is taking now."

The comment was a near carbon copy to what McCain said in 2008 when Russia invaded Georgia. At the time McCain said, "I know I speak for every American I say to him today, we are all Georgians."

Fuck you.

But hey, which Cold War chess match do you want to replicate?  Hungary?  Prague Spring?  Fischer-Spassky?  Afghanistan Part VII: The Blowback?  Do tell.

And fuck you.


February 28, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Thursday, February 27, 2014

As The Poet Said: De gustibus non est disputandum, bitches!

I shall be telling this with a sigh.
Somewhere ages and ages hence...

 - Robert Frost

O Salon!  My Salon!

In celebration of “Dead Poets Society’s” 25th anniversary, Kevin J.H. Dettmar of Pomona College recently performed a pleasantly vicious evisceration of the film. Dettmar points out, accurately, that Keating, the supposedly genius teacher, is a crappy reader, utterly unaware of the irony in Frost’s “I took the road less travelled by,” turning the nuanced, knowing contradictions of Whitman and the Romantics into chautauqua orations and encomiums of bland uplift. Rather than teaching the students to think for themselves, Keating teaches them to think like him. Or, as Dettmar says, “while the boys are marching to the beat of a different drum, it’s Keating’s drum.”

In one classroom exercise, Keating stands on his desk, and then urges each of the young men to climb up as well so that they can see the world differently — from Keating’s perspective. Like the cheerleaders for anarchy in the Nirvana video, the film bottles the smell of teen spirit and then passes it out in careful, identical doses, as crassly uniform as the desk set Anderson receives on his birthday from his parents year after year, a special, personal gift that is always exactly the same. It’s contagious, here we are now, entertain us, as the poet said.

All the points are well taken, but I have to wonder how one teaches somebody else to stop conforming with the shadow play if not by showing them the outside of the cave first.  Regardless, I still enjoy the movie.  Of course I like a lot of shitty movies and fuck you.


February 27, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBack

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Wednesday, February 19, 2014

"I realize that you are not a person in the strictest sense of the word..."

OMG, Wolf Blitzer went Full Godwin:

On Tuesday’s edition of CNN’s Wolf, host Wolf Blitzer addressed in great detail the Nazi past of ‘subhuman mongrel‘ used by rocker Ted Nugent to describe President Barack Obama.

With Texas gubernatorial candidate Greg Abbott (R-TX) already facing criticism over campaigning with ‘sexual predator’ Ted Nugent at his side, Wolf Blitzer wondered if the Abbott campaign was aware of Nugent’s use of racially loaded term ‘subhuman mongrel’.

Speaking with Wayne Slater of the Dallas Morning News, Blitzer pointed out, “That’s what the Nazis called Jews to justify the genocide of the Jewish community.”

“They called them ‘untermenschen,’ subhuman mongrels, if you read some of the literature that the Nazis put out there, there is a long history of that specific phrase he used involving the President of the United States.”
Blitzer then went on to quote Nazi propagandist Julius Streicher who wrote: ‘The Jew is a mongrel. He has hereditary tendencies from Aryans, Asiatics, Negroes, and from the Mongolians. Evil always preponderates in the case of a mongrel.’

Indeed.  Reminds me of this scene from Schindler's List.  So fuck Ted Nugent.


February 19, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

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Tuesday, February 18, 2014

No, Nick Searcy Isn't A ‘Teabagger,’ ‘Ultra-Con,’ Or ‘Bigot’, Just An Asshole

I usually don't care about the politics of entertainment celeb people types--not much, anyway, unless it's Dennis Miller or Victoria Jackson.  Yet I find that I'm so very disappointed with Teabagging Ultra-con Bigotted Asshole Deke Slayton, er...Nick Searcy.  I wish a bunch of rabbits (no, not that one, nor that one, neither) would chase his grounded ass around.  Justified, indeed.


February 18, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

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Sunday, February 16, 2014

One Dollar, One Vote

The Rich will strive to establish their dominion & enslave the rest. They always did. They always will.

 -  Gouverneur Morris in Convention (July 2, 1787)

The other day I tweeted Booman's post about Whiny Rich Perkins' suggestion for a new voting scheme based on how much filthy lucre you can acquire, but you should also read Myers and Chait.  It's still not entirely clear to me if Perkins was serious or just trying to be "provocative," but I'll treat it as real because otherwise this post would be much shorter than I want.

The first obvious objection is that such a scheme would be unconstitutional as things currently stand.  Even the The Citizens United Court would be hard-pressed to justify "money = votes."  So I guess he'll use his influence to call a Convention or push Congress to pass a joint resolution recommending an amendment to the States.

Regardless, his suggestion is facially anti-American.  From the very beginning of our Republic we the People have tended to expand the franchise over time, not to limit or qualify it.  All Men [sic] are created equal.  No property requirements for the franchise.  One person, one vote.  Race/sex no bar.  Poll taxes banned.  Etc.

Dude's already got a metric asston of treasure, and with "money = speech" plenty of influence on the electoral and political process.  But he wants even more weight?  Based on an arbitrary, inhumane measure?

As PZ suggests, why not bind the franchise to other silly things with more intrinsic value to people than money, like Magic the Gathering cards?  Or limit it to veterans, ala Heinlein?  What about basing it on how many children one has, so America will able to outbreed all the heathens outside the US?

Alternately, we can recognize the fundamental principle that government is established with the consent of the governed.  ALL governed, whether taxpayers or not.  Wealthy or not.

As it says in the Vermont constitution:

[A]ll elections ought to be free and without corruption, and that all voters, having a sufficient, evident, common interest with, and attachment to the community, have a right to elect officers, and be elected into office...

And, you know, if you're concerned people are going to rise up because you have more money than Dog, you can always choose to have a little less money.  You'd go a long way to securing your future by advocating a higher top marginal rate, taxing cap gains as regular income, etc.  You'd be patriotic and get good PR, not to mention you'd be a nicer human being and less like a flaming box of entitled dicks.

I'll end with a pointed question from Ben Franklin:

Today a man owns a jackass worth fifty dollars and he is entitled to vote; but before the next election the jackass dies. The man in the meantime has become more experienced, his knowledge of the principles of government and his acquaintance with mankind are more extensive, and he is therefore better qualified to make a proper selection of rulers—but the jackass is dead and the man cannot vote. Now, gentlemen, pray inform me, in whom is the right of suffrage? In the man or the jackass?

Apparently, Perkins thinks the franchise belongs to the valuable jackass.


February 16, 2014 in And Fuck..., Constitution, Schmonstitution | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Saturday, February 15, 2014

Living Politics

Politics! Politics? And do [we] not live politics...? When I go to the cupboard and I find no coffee, no sugar, no pins, no meat, am I not living politics?

 - Abigail Adams, HBO's John Adams miniseries

Digby takes note of yet another whiny rich person:

Billionaire bottom-feeder Wilbur Ross on Tuesday declared that "the 1 percent is being picked on for political reasons"...

She does a good job with his silly argument about education.  I'd just like to observe that the use of 'politics' as an epithet is to my mind one of the worst things in public discourse today.

Of course it's fucking politics!  Politics is about policy!  You know, those policies we debate about how to provide a little security to our fellow human beings, how much taxation is appropriate, even how to implement democratic principles.  Politics and policies are about how we live.

So the One Percent is being "picked on" for human reasons, for reasons of our trying to live.  Get the fuck over it.


February 15, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Friday, February 14, 2014



It seems to me that legislatures pass new laws concerning things like homosexuality and contraception when the electorate has evolved enough to make the changes palatable. Mr. Linker doesn't like when people compare gay-bashing to Jim Crow because he thinks the latter isn't as well-supported by Scripture. But it's still the case that the Civil Rights Act and the Voting Rights Act were passed over the strong objection of a huge part of the country. You can consider those laws to be forcible impositions of coercive federal power if you want. Certainly that's how the laws were experienced by a lot of people. But the truth is that those laws were reflections of an evolution that had already taken place in the country. Passing legislation that reflects a change in societal attitudes about race or gender or sexuality is something that comes at the end of a process. If you're an advocate for women's health or gay rights, you're trying to change attitudes so that you can change the law. You can't do it the other way around.

We don't live in a system where everyone has to be convinced before we can make a new law. So, how are we supposed to let all these things develop "at their own pace"? It seems to me that they have been doing precisely that, and now we are here.
What I don't understand is why I am supposed to feel so much concern for the freedom of people to discriminate or deny women access to needed preventative health care. Ku Klux Klan members had feelings, too. They had certain freedoms that were taken away from them. No one told me that I had to wait for them to "evolve" at their own pace. No one told me that I should give a shit about their "freedom" to believe what they believed.

Yup, I'm pretty much at the "tough shit" stage of political thought when it comes to their "liberty" to be assholes to people some book allegedly tells them to dislike.  Seems that more than a few people act as though the only protection of freedom is the 2nd Amendment (twisted interpretation of the 1st Amendment allowing them to project their religious beliefs on others).  Turns out the whole government is for protection, which can take many forms including anti-discrimination laws.  Don't like it?  Use your Bitcoins to buy your own fucking island.


February 14, 2014 in And Fuck..., Constitution, Schmonstitution | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack

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Sunday, February 09, 2014

Missing Link: The Evolution Of Fuck

My 2.78 regular readers know that I am a big afficianado of the F-word.  So I am beside myself with f'ing ecstasy about this story about the first use of that naughty, useful little f'ing word:

[F]or English's first use, we've got a dissatisfied 1528 monk. He's written "O D fuckin abbot." [In the margins of a guide to moral conduct.] Melissa Mohr, author of Holy Sh*t: A Brief History of Swearingsays this "fuck" could be either literal or metaphorical:

It is difficult to know whether the annotator intended "fucking" to mean "having sex," as in "that guy is doing too much fucking for someone who is supposed to be celibate," or whether he used it as an intensifier, to convey his extreme dismay; if the latter, it anticipates the first recorded use by more than three hundred years. Either is possible, really—John Burton, the abbot in question, was a man of questionable monastic morals.

So, either this monk was recording his abbot's sex life or he was the first person to be so angry that only "fuck" could convey it's scope.

What's also great is that the "D" probably stands for "damned." The monk had no problem with fucking, but damnation was a curse too far.

Language is so f'ing awesome.


February 9, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack