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Wednesday, July 23, 2014

July Crisis

One hundred years ago, Serbia received an ultimatum in the wake of Archduke Franz Ferdinand's assassination.  Two days later they would ultimately agree to essentially everything except a provision allowing Austria police to be involved in their official investigation of the incident.

British Prime Minister, Sir Herbert Asquith, wrote to his confidante, Venetia Stanley:

Austria has sent a bullying and humiliating ultimatum to Serbia, who cannot possibly comply with it, and demanded an answer within 48 hours - failing which she will march. This means, almost inevitably, that Russia will come to the scene in defence of Serbia and in defiance of Austria, and if so, it is difficult for Germany and France to refrain from lending a hand to one side or the other. So that we are in measurable, or imaginable, distance of a real Armageddon. Happily, there seems to be no reason why we should be anything more than spectators.


Anyway, I've been thinking of this a lot lately when I hear McCain and Graham and others whine about "doing something" after MH17.  Fucking idiots.


July 23, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

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Friday, July 18, 2014

At Least He Didn't Make A Lidice Joke

Jesus fuck, this is more assholish than usual:

“Dealing w/ Hamas is like dealing w/ a crazy woman who’s trying to kill u,” Maher posted. “u can only hold her wrists so long before you have to slap her.”

Genocide and misogyny all in one tweet.  Well played.


July 18, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Sunday, July 06, 2014

The Framers Never, Ever Wanted To Promote Commerce, Either

The Congress shall have Power...To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian Tribes.

 - Some Document, Article I, Section 8, Clause 3


The idea that the government should not promote commerce is novel, but it has support on both the right and the left. That doesn't mean it is wise.

How did America become powerful?  By promoting commerce, per the Constitution, you fucking gits--ain't a mandate per se, but the power wasn't granted idly.  Seriously, didn't any of these people go to Sunday School?*


* Name the movie.

July 6, 2014 in And Fuck..., Constitution, Schmonstitution | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Wednesday, July 02, 2014

Who Owns Hobby Lobby?

The Decision, I mean.  Clearly: Hillary Clinton!

No, seriously...


July 2, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Friday, June 20, 2014

A Choctaw's Vagina

I ask you in the name of justice, for repose for myself and for my injured people. Let us alone — we will not harm you, we want rest.

 - Choctaw Chief George W. Harkins, Letter to the American People (February 25, 1832)

The only good meme is a dead meme:

Yes, these things provide blogfodder, and I'm revisiting the past.

Dog knows when I read foreign-derived words, immediately the English translation comes to mind.  Just like 'Hawaii' always makes me think 'homeland' and the DHS, when I see the word 'Oklahoma' it is exactly as offensive as 'Redskin'.  And really, when I'm checking out the latest science on quantum singularities, I can't help but think Stephen Hawking is a bad man because, obviously, they're black holes...BLACK holes, see, which is totes racist (even though, or precisely because, he now says they don't exist).

Anyway, folks might want to consider the history of Oklahoma before they post clever images and whatnot.  The state was originally designated Indian Territory, and was the terminus of the Choctaw Trail of Tears.  So when a name was proposed by Reverend Allen Wright, himself a Choctaw, in 1866, it was a natural appellation using his people's language for what was to be their land.

Since then, of course, white Americans appropriated more and more Choctaw territory, and even their language.  But the point is that NDNs applied the label themselves, clearly not as a slur (compare to the team name's real origins, and recall that meanings evolve).  It's the height of privilege to suggest OK's name should be changed because another chosen by a white dude is truly offensive to a good number of people.  But hey, if there's a Choctaw movement to rename the state, i would wholly support it.  Wake me when that happens.

As I've observed before, other teams have changed their names, even without geographic relocation or popular pressure.  So why not?  Make the old Redskins merch valuable for its historic nature.  Have stories to tell your grandkids.  All while doing the right thing.

And being the constructive guy I am, here are some new name suggestions (just as I did with my beloved Tribe):

  • the Washington Senators (old baseball name no longer in use);
  • the Washington FedExers (adopt the name of their Landover, MD, stadium's corporate sponsors);
  • the Washington Federals (nearby DC is the seat of Federal power); 
  • the Washington Rebels (a nod to the Spirit of '76 and the Secesh);
  • the Washington Liberty (a singular name ala the Stanford Cardinal, also changed from an NDN mascot);
  • the Washington Union (another singular name that banishes the Secesh and unifies us all in the spirit of football);
  • the Mount Vernon Washingtonians (maybe switch things around, George's home ain't too far from Landover anyway so why the fuck not?).

Really, it's sports.  In the era of free agency, where loyalty isn't to a team, but a brand marketed like Cheetohs.  No need to be dicks about it.

So I leave you with The Onion:

Denying widespread claims that the franchise is being offensive or disrespectful, the Washington Redskins’ kike owner announced Monday that he remains steadfast in his refusal to change the team’s derogatory name. “The Redskins represent 81 years of great history and tradition, and it’s a source of pride for our fans,” said the hook-nosed kike, stressing that the team’s insulting moniker is “absolutely not a racial slur by any means.” “‘Washington Redskins’ is much more than just a name. It stands for strength, courage, and respect—the very values that are so intrinsic to Native American culture.” The shifty-eyed hebe went on to assure fans that he will do “everything in his power” to preserve the team’s proud heritage.

You know, with all due respect...


Contribute to the Eleventh Blegiversary *

June 20, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

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Thursday, June 19, 2014

Pay Up, Bitches!

This is pretty awesome:

The Dallas Morning News reported that commissioners [on the Dallas County Commissioners Court] thought they were honoring an annual holiday when they voted unanimously for the “Juneteenth Resolution” sponsored by Dallas County’s only black commissioner, John Wiley Price.

Price even read the text of the resolution, which covered broad topics like slavery and Jim Crow. Many of the commissioners seemed uninterested, playing with their computers or reading documents while he read so they did not seem to notice the final sentence.

“The United States of America is derelict in its promise of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness to the African American people,” Price said. “Be it further resolved that the dereliction that has caused 400 years of significant… suffering to the descendants of those who have been enslaved Africans who built this country, should be satisfied with monetary and substantial reparations to same.”

A commissioner quickly seconded the motion, and it passed unanimously.
“I do not support reparations, and I do not support one of the statements he made, which was that the United States was derelict in his promise to African Americans,” Cantrell told the Dallas Observer. “I think Commissioner Price went too far, and I can’t support that.”

“I had no opportunity to review it, to see what was in the resolution,” he added. “As Commissioner Price was reading this I was trying to find a copy because it sounded like he was going way over what he typically does.”

I understand why they might not support reparations and be pissed at Commissioner Price, but why the fuck would you vote on something you allegedly had no time to review?  It's not like this was even some behemoth like USA PATRIOT.  

They'd better read any payment orders closely next time before signing (something we do at our regular Selectboard meetings).

Incompetent fucking idiots.


Contribute to the Eleventh Blegiversary *

June 19, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Friday, June 06, 2014

Now I Feel Like Old B.O.B.


Turns out, Neil deGrasse Tyson hates another science-based movie more than "Gravity." TMZ caught up with the "Cosmos" host and asked him which space movie is the most scientifically inaccurate. After calling the gossip site "the dark energy permeating the vacuum of space wherever you look," he awarded the title to the original Disney movie "The Black Hole."

Tyson is known for his obsession with perfection when it comes to space in movies (James Cameron altered the skyscape in "Titanic" at the astrophysicist's request), and he called the "The Black Hole" "embarrassing" before going on a rant about all the flubs and liberties Disney took in making the 1979 hit.

"They not only got none of the physics right about falling into a black hole, had they gotten it right it would have been a vastly more interesting movie," he told the TMZ cameraman. C

Okay, yeah, it was a shitty movie.


June 6, 2014 in And Fuck..., Mars, Bitches! | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

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War Is Matrimonial Bloody Hell

Here's some Paul Fucking Fussell:

The use of fucking as the adjective and fucker as the noun of all work was so common among British troops that it was noticed in an oficial War Office pamphlet of October, 1941, issued not to reprehend the usage but simply to warn against careless identification of strangers. In North Africa a German spy dressed in British uniform had succeeded in deceiving a British unit because he spoke impeccable Other Ranks English. The War Office pamphlet warned: “lt should . . . be impressed on all ranks that the use in conversation of ‘f--—-s’ and ‘b----s’ is not necessarily a guarantee of British nationality.”

Now and then even the troops wearied of fucking and tried substituting equivalents like conjugal or matrimonial, as in “Where's the conjugal NAAFI in this camp?” or “What the matrimonial bloody hell do you think you're doing?” Fucking was so common and boring by the time of the Vietnam War that the Americans merely alluded to it and accommodated it to the more modern abbreviation habit. Thus a new arrival was a FNG or Fucking New Guy, and, as an army nurse remembers, a little rubber boat used for frolics while swimming was a LFRB, short for Little Fucking Rubber Boat.

After several years of fucking, one did not have to be a puritan to find it tedious. On Guadalcanal, Sherwood F. Moran, a Japanese language expert, said wearily to one marine, "Yes, I know, you saw the fucking Jap coming up the fucking hill and raised your fucking rifle and shot himbetween the fucking eyes.”

Ernie Pyle is also reputed to have had enough, even if his remonstrance took ironic form. “I am sick and tired of that word --,” he once said. “If I ever hear the ---- word again I'm going to throw up.”

But the use of the term could never be curbed because it was so essential to military meaning:

Once, on a misty Soottish airfield, an airman was changing the magneto on the engine of a Wellington bomber. Suddenly his wrench slipped and he flung it on the grass and snarled, “Fuck! the fucking fucker’s fucked.” The bystanders were all quite well aware that he had stripped a bolt and skinned his knuckles.”

Apropos of Pierce on Pyle (via RMJ).


June 6, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Thursday, June 05, 2014

Talking Shit

Well, okay then:

Vice magazine co-founder Gavin McInnes ripped Cosmos host Neil deGrasse Tyson during a Fox News appearance on Tuesday night, saying racial profiling against him during his youth was justified and knocking him for having white fans.

“I hate this guy,” McInnes told host Greg Gutfeld and his panel. “I remember hearing Chris Hardwick on a podcast talk about Neil deGrasse Tyson and he was just salivating. White liberal nerds love this guy so much, he could defecate on them like Martin Bashir’s fantasies and they would dance in the streets.”
“He talks about things like, ‘when I was young in New York I would get racially profiled when I’d go into stores,’” McInnes complained. “Back then he looked like he was in The Warriors. He had a huge afro and a cutoff shirt and New York was a war zone. Sorry, you fit the profile.”

For the record, I love popularizers of science but I wouldn't even let Saint Sagan shit on me.  Dude, they're smart and they're entertainers--lighten the fuck up.


June 5, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

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Tuesday, June 03, 2014

Prisoner Of Orwell

Yeah, pretty much:

Remember when we invaded Iraq, in large part, because "Saddam Hussein is a torturer"? Torture was a bad thing! And then George W. Bush tortured and it suddenly became okay. Worse than okay. It was desirable.

It feels like deja vu, seeing our nation's blood-thirsty population of chickenhawks zero in on a new target—the deal bringing American servicemember and Taliban captive Bowe Bergdahl home. In their minds, this is worse than Hitler because either Bergdahl was a deserter or because he wasn't worth five Taliban officials or a combination of the two.

Yet our nation has always subscribed to "leave no one behind," whether alive or dead. It is a foundational principle for those of us who have served—we will lay everything on the line, including our lives, and in return America will make sure, no matter what, that we get to return home. It is sacrosanct. As the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the top military officer in the land, said,

Questions about this particular soldier's conduct are separate from our effort to recover ANY U.S. service member in enemy captivity.

The military will investigate the circumstances surrounding his capture. The Taliban says he was drunk. His platoon mates say he deserted. Bergdahl says he was captured when he lagged behind on patrol. Investigate that all you want. If he acted negligently or maliciously, then he should be dealt with appropriately. But under no circumstances do we leave our own behind. Period.

Court martial his ass if he deserves it.  But don't leave any American behind, you fucking anti-American fucks.


June 3, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

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Monday, May 05, 2014

You Know Who Else Was In Government?

Following up from earlier, just wow:

“I think Jewish people should be the first to stand up against Obamacare,” Campfield said. “If government is controlling people's health insurance, they are potentially controlling people's lives....letting the government choose who lives and who dies.”

You know who's choosing who lives and who dies?  The Republican governments that refused to expand Medicaid.

Learn some fucking history, asshole.


May 5, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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I Ain't No Bamm-Bamm


“Are female breadwinners a problem?” [Fox News host Clayton Morris] wanted to know. “Is there a problem with men earning less in the household, and do you think that it could cause big marital problems?”

After Fox Business host Kmele Foster agreed that women earning more could cause problems because it was “running against convention,” Morris suggested that there was a biological reason that men should earn more money.

“Isn’t there some sort of biological, innate need for me to be the caveman?” he wondered. “Go out and bring home the dinner. Is it emasculating if we don’t do it?”

Kris Schoels of YoungMarriedChic.com opined that “problems can arise” when families do not follow “traditional gender roles.”

“Is there a biological need for the man to take care of the women here?” Morris asked Miss New York USA 2013 Joanne Nosuchinsky, who recommended finding a man who was not insecure about his wife earning more.

Morris then suggested that Nosuchinsky could “lose respect” for a stay-at-home dad.

I never felt any sort of biological, innate need to be the caveman.

*looks in pants, assures self full package still there*

And I'm not emasculated, either!  Seems like somebody is suffering from insecurity, but it ain't me.  Must be the guys who obsess about women stealing their balls.  What kind of fucking wimp can't protect himself from that?


May 5, 2014 in And Fuck..., Family Life | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Monday, April 28, 2014

Ted Cruz Should Resign

Oh, just fuck you:

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) said Monday that Secretary of State John Kerry should resign for allegedly saying that Israel risked becoming "an apartheid state" if it didn't agree to a peace deal.

“Secretary Kerry has proven himself unsuitable for the position he holds,” Cruz said on the Senate floor. “John Kerry should offer President Obama his resignation.”

Visit the West Bank Archipelago.  Visit Gaza, the largest open air prison in the world.  Visit Israel and see how Palestinians are treated.

Then resign in disgrace, asshole.


PS--Boxer can fuck off, too.

April 28, 2014 in And Fuck..., Viva Palestina | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Sunday, April 27, 2014

Hey, Sarah, I Can See Your House From Here!

Just another reason I'm glad she's nowhere near actual power:

Sarah Palin wants terrorists to know how the United States would deal with them if she were president.

Speaking Saturday at the National Rifle Association's "Stand And Fight" rally at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, the former Alaska governor and 2008 GOP vice presidential candidate accused the Obama administration of instating counterterrorism policies that "coddle adversaries."

"Come on. Enemies, who would utterly annihilate America, they who'd obviously have information on plots, to carry out Jihad. Oh, but you can't offend them, can't make them feel uncomfortable, not even a smidgen," she said. "Well, if I were in charge, they would know that waterboarding is how we'd baptize terrorists."

Of course Palin would advocate for something as effective as it is moral.  She'd personally nail Jesus Christ to a tree, too...


April 27, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Saturday, April 26, 2014

I'm Still Gonna Mock The Fucking Anti-vaxxers

Using science to figure out why people distrust (some) science:

[A] new report from the American Academy of Arts and Sciences, which suggests a future research agenda to determine why vaccine hesitancy is on the rise.

Speaking with MIT News, study co-author Seth Mnookin says that people are still "hesitant" to vaccinate their children. This is exacting a terrible social cost, both in lives lost and in money.
Mnookin, whose most recent book The Panic Virus is about vaccine hesitancy, suggests that medical professionals may be using the wrong tactics to persuade parents who are fearful of vaccines. In the report, Mnookin and his co-authors suggest scientists need to understand first where people are getting their information about vaccines, then explore more helpful ways of using medical appointments to debunk false reports linking vaccines to autism and other diseases.

It is a good idea.  When somebody figures it out, I'll certainly hop on board.  Until then I'll probably just use unkind words.


April 26, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Sunday, April 20, 2014

Happy Ishtar!

I fucking hate Facebook memes for this reason:

The general rule of infographics and similar fare is that the more deliciously it skewers people you don't respect very much, the more likely it is to be a fake.  Always good to consider before you click that "share" button.

Wish Buzzfeed would do a "Which Fake Graphical Meme Are You?" quiz...


April 20, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

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Thursday, April 17, 2014

Nobody Goes There Anymore Because It's Too Fucking Crowded With Deranged Bloggers

This is illustrative of why I haven't read, let alone posted at, Corrente in a long, long time.  I always agreed that Obamacare is suboptimal, which is why I actively fought against it and pushed for HR676 until the last moment, but holy fucking derangement.


April 17, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

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Rancher? I...Can't...Stop!


Bundy doesn’t recognize the federal government. Speaking to conservative radio host Dana Loesch last week, he said he believes in a “sovereign state of Nevada” and abides by all state laws, but, “I don’t recognize the United States government as even existing.”

You don't recognize the US government?  Then you do not abide by state law.  The Nevada constitution:

[T]he Members of this Convention, elected by the Authority of the aforesaid enabling Act of Congress, Assembled in Carson City the Capital of said Territory of Nevada, and immediately subsequent to its Organization, do adopt, on behalf of the people of said Territory the Constitution of the United States.
In obedience to the requirements of an act of the Congress of the United States, approved March twenty-first, A.D. eighteen hundred and sixty-four, to enable the people of Nevada to form a constitution and state government, this convention, elected and convened in obedience to said enabling act, do ordain as follows, and this ordinance shall be irrevocable, without the consent of the United States and the people of the State of Nevada.
That the people inhabiting said territory do agree and declare, that they forever disclaim all right and title to the unappropriated public lands lying within said territory, and that the same shall be and remain at the sole and entire disposition of the United States.
[T]he Paramount Allegiance of every citizen is due to the Federal Government in the exercise of all its Constitutional powers as the same have been or may be defined by the Supreme Court of the United States; and no power exists in the people of this or any other State of the Federal Union to dissolve their connection therewith or perform any act tending to impair[,] subvert, or resist the Supreme Authority of the government of the United States. The Constitution of the United States confers full power on the Federal Government to maintain and Perpetuate its [existence]...

He's a fucking idiot, and a seditious anarchist bully, to boot.


April 17, 2014 in And Fuck..., Constitution, Schmonstitution | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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Friday, April 04, 2014

Leave It To Saletan To Fire Wildly

He must've been reading one of my FB threads.  Because the CEO of a major brand is just like any regular employee, so we should all be working super hard to get rid of every PropH8 donor or...we've failed or are hypocrites or something.  

Anyway, I applaud his effort at being centrist-fairest, and wish him luck on his endeavor.  He should remember, however, that you can't force the Magical Free Market to do anything against its Superior Will and Wisdom.  The Invisible Hand Job didn't want to do shake Eich's hand knowing where it has been, but probably doesn't mind doing business with somebody taking orders at the Apple Store who wasted a couple bucks on something unconstitutional.

I'm willing to bet that Hobby Lobby wouldn't give me a C-level job, either, given my vocal and public support of the birth control non-mandate.  Tough fucking shit.


April 4, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

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Thursday, April 03, 2014

Who's Supposed To Eat Cake, Now?

Well, duh:

[I]f we think that money in politics is a problem; if we think it creates the appearance of corruption, alienates non-wealthy citizens from the democratic process, perverts incentives for politicians and candidates, and creates an unequal system in which the speech of the rich drowns out the speech of everyone else — and all of those things are already the long-standing status quo — we can no longer seek to address the problem by preventing money from flowing into politics. The Supreme Court is clearly not going to meet a new spending restriction that it likes any time soon. Instead of attempting to dictate how the wealthy spend their money, we are probably just going to have to take away their money.

If the super-rich had less money, they would have less money to spend on campaigns and lobbying. And unlike speech, the government is very clearly allowed to take away people’s money. It’s in the Constitution and everything.

I've quoted a number of Founders, Adam Smith, Teddy Roosevelt and other smart folks enough on this issue.  If we don't want an aristocracy, we need to tax the rich more--their income, their accumulated wealth, and the estates they pass on to their scions.  It's that simple.  

And no, I don't give a shit if they've "earned" it or not (which they really haven't, not the riches beyond their wildest dreams of avarice).  They benefit inordinately from society and government, and have to put figurative skin in the game instead of gaming the system to the detriment of the common weal.  They should get this into their heads whilst they're still attached to shoulders: it's better than the alternative.

Ohhhh, does that hurt Mr Perkins' and Mr Koch's feefees?


April 3, 2014 in And Fuck... | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack