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Sunday, November 28, 2010

A Catfood Carol

We've started our Christmas movie cycle and of course one of the first we watch is A Christmas Carol, which seems more germane than ever these days with the Catfood Commission's report coming out.  I'm not being terribly original here, but wanted to go on record with a hearty "And Fuck The Deficit Hawks (The Senate, Too)" in the truest spirit of the season.

The Social Contract was dead: to begin with.  There is no doubt whatever about that.  The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner.  Alan Simpson signed it: and Simpson's name was good upon the Commission, for anything he chose to put his hand to.  The Old Social Contract was as dead as a door-nail.

Mind!  I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail.  I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade.  But the wisdom of our ancestors is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands shall not disturb it, or the Country's done for.  You will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that the Social Contract was as dead as a door-nail.

Simspon knew it was dead?  Of course he did. How could it be otherwise?

[Two] activists for social programs, pleasant to behold, now stood, with their hats off, in Simpson's office.  They had books and papers in their hands, and bowed to him.

"At this festive season of the year, Mr. Simpson," said the gentleman, taking up a pen, "it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the Poor and Destitute, who suffer greatly at the present time.  Many thousands are in want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, sir."

"Are there no prisons?" asked Simpson.

"Plenty of prisons," said the gentleman, laying down the pen again.

"And the Union workhouses?"  demanded Simpson.  "Are they still in operation?"

"They are.  Still," returned the gentleman, "I wish I could say they were not."

"Oh!  I was afraid, from what you said at first, that something had occurred to stop them in their useful course," said Simpson.  "I'm very glad to hear it."

"Under the impression that they scarcely furnish Christian cheer of mind or body to the multitude," returned the gentleman, "a few of us are endeavouring to raise a fund to buy the Poor some meat and drink and means of warmth.  We choose this time, because it is a time, of all others, when Want is keenly felt, and Abundance rejoices.  What shall I put you down for?"

"Nothing!" Simpson replied.

"You wish to be anonymous?"

"I wish to be left alone," said Simpson.  "Since you ask me what I wish, gentlemen, that is my answer.  I don't make merry myself at Christmas and I can't afford to make idle people merry.  I help to support the establishments I have mentioned -- they cost enough; and those who are badly off must go there."

"Many can't go there; and many would rather die."

"If they would rather die," said Simpson, "they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.  Besides -- excuse me -- I don't know that."

"But you might know it," observed the gentleman.

"It's not my business," Simpson returned.  "It's enough for a man to understand his own business, and not to interfere with other people's.  Mine occupies me constantly.  Good afternoon, gentlemen!"

I'll retire to Bedlam...

ntodd

November 28, 2010 in And Fuck... | Permalink

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Comments

Well done.

Posted by: Katie L. | Nov 28, 2010 5:45:38 PM

You know, what the hell, Simpson and Bowles will be dead within 5 years so what do they care what happens to the rest of us? (not that they ever did) What are they getting at this point to push such a punishing and vicious agenda (at the same time a Wall St. Trader hired a dwarf to be handcuffed to a bachelor at his party) Is it fame? Their faces and names on TV and they are known in the DC Village? Currying favor with Wall St.? To what end? I simply do not understand how throwing millions out of work, off health care, out of their houses and off social security helps them? Social instability and desperation will hurt them in the end unless they figure we will all die first.

Posted by: moistenedbink | Nov 29, 2010 9:43:07 PM

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