Ahoy-hoy!

Since Jon Stewart just did a thing about McCain's medical report, I guess this is relevant again:

_Blood pressure was 134 over 84. Optimal is below 120 over 80, and high blood pressure begins at 140 over 90. An in-between reading is sometimes called prehypertension, but McCain's doctor said other recent readings were lower and his blood pressure is normal.

_Total cholesterol is a healthy 192, below the worrisome 240 level. His so-called bad or LDL cholesterol is a healthy 123. But his so-called good or HDL cholesterol is 42, below the recommended 60.
...
_He has had four separate melanomas removed, in 1993, 2000 and 2002. Most were very early stage forms but one, a spot on his temple in 2000, was invasive cancer deemed "intermediate-stage" melanoma. He has had no sign of melanoma since 2002, but has his skin checked every three or four months. Doctors frequently remove precancerous lesions and in February removed a small, early squamous cell carcinoma, an easily surgically cured skin cancer.

_Doctors removed common benign growths called polyps during a routine colonoscopy in March. Doctors often screen patients with polyps more frequently, as they can be precancerous.

_He has suffered occasional bouts of dizziness, usually when standing suddenly, since 2000 that repeated tests concluded were harmless vertigo.

_In 2001, he had successful minimally invasive surgery to reduce an enlarged prostate, common in older men, and shows no sign of prostate cancer.

_His medications include simvastatin, part of the popular statin family of anti-cholesterol drugs; a baby aspirin, commonly prescribed starting in middle age to prevent heart attacks; Claritin, Zyrtec or Flonase as needed for seasonal allergies; the sleeping pill Ambien as needed during travel; and HCTZ, or hydrochlorothiazide, to prevent kidney stones.

1200 pages of records?  For 8 years?  Wow.  And then there's the appendix (heh) that indicates McCain is very healthy...for a 186yo man:

Doctor:    Mr. Burns, I'm afraid you are the sickest man in the United States.  You have everything.
Burns:    You mean I have pneumonia?
Doctor:    Yes.
Burns:    Juvenile diabetes?
Doctor:    Yes.
Burns:    Hysterical pregnancy?
Doctor:    Uh, a little bit, yes.  You also have several diseases that have just been discovered -- in you.
Burns:    I see.  You sure you haven't just made thousands of mistakes?
Doctor:    Uh, no, no, I'm afraid not.
Burns:    This sounds like bad news.
Doctor:    Well, you'd think so, but all of your diseases are in perfect balance.  Uh, if you have a moment, I can explain.
Burns:    Well ... [looks at his watch]
[the Doctor puts a tiny model house door on his desk]
Doctor:    Here's the door to your body, see?  [bring up some small fuzz balls with goofy faces and limbs from under the desk]  And these are oversized novelty germs.  [points to a different one up as he names each disease] That's influenza, that's bronchitis, [holds up one] and this cute little cuddle-bug is pancreatic cancer.  Here's what happens when they all try to get through the door at once.  [tries to cram a bunch through the model door.  The "germs" get stuck] [Stooge-like] Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo!  Move it, chowderhead [normal voice] We call it, "Three Stooges Syndrome."
Burns:    So what you're saying is, I'm indestructible!
Doctor:    Oh, no, no, in fact, even slight breeze could --
Burns:    Indestructible.

Smithers, release the hounds...ON IRAN!

ntodd