My Birthright

I'm a birthright Quaker, which means a lot to me even though I ain't a religious fellow.  I do consider myself spiritual, however, as well as secular, and much of what the Society of Friends represents to me was embodied by NTodd's Pa's Wife: concern for the well-being of others, belief in inherent goodness of humanity, desire to find peace within and without.

This Sunday's "simple celebration" of Mom's life will follow the Quaker model, which of course means it will not be the usual dealio with lots of flowers and sermonizing and stuff.  Dad will be printing up some information cards so all the freaking heathen Jews, Catholics and Protties that show up will know how to behave.  Heh.

Here's what Faith and Practice says about such gatherings:

When Friends experience the death of a member, they gather for a memorial meeting for worship. As the meeting begins, a designated person may describe the nature of the occasion and assure those present that they are free to speak if led to do so. While the worshippers remember the life and service of the deceased and mourn the passing, they also celebrate God's gift of life and the beauty of human character. Members of the family may request that passages of Scripture, poetry, prayer, meditation, or music be shared during the meeting. Those present may be drawn to speak of their memories, poignant, loving, grateful, instructive, even humorous. Yet the occasion should be one in which things temporal are secondary, a time when the mystery of death is deeply felt, and when the presence of God and those gathered in worship bring comfort, hope, and consolation.

Meetings may find it helpful to the bereaved family to hold a simple reception following the memorial meeting. Such an occasion gives an opportunity to express grief and love and thanksgiving, person to person. For many it will also serve as a helpful reentry into everyday life.

As you might have gathered, we're a weird sect, or rather a weird collection of weird sects.  Quakerism is not monolithic, which I suppose is one reason it attracted my parents and keeps its hold on me.

The Religious Society of Friends (commonly known as Quakers or Friends) was founded in England in the 17th century by people who were dissatisfied with the existing denominations and sects of Christianity. They were one of a number of nonconformist dissenting groups that emerged around this time. Traditionally George Fox has been credited as the founder or the most important early figure. The Society of Friends is counted among the historic peace churches. Since its beginnings in England, Quakerism has spread to other countries, chiefly Kenya, the United States, and Bolivia. The number of Quakers in the world is relatively small (approximately 600,000), although there are places, such as Pennsylvania, particularly Philadelphia, in which Quaker influence is concentrated.

Unlike other groups that emerged from Christianity, the Religious Society of Friends has tended not to have a hierarchical structure, a creed, or paid clergy. Therefore, there are several branches of Friends, which can be roughly divided into two main groups — the unprogrammed tradition and the programmed tradition.

The Meeting my family still belongs to is in Lewisburg, PA, part of the Philadelphia Yearly Meeting.  Yup, we come from the heart of Quaker country.  Since I was very small, Meeting for me was always of the unprogrammed, silent variety (which is why I was stunned at an unprogrammed Meeting in Celo, NC, where I went to camp one year, that people sang hymns and actually spoke!):

Unprogrammed worship is the more traditional style of worship among Friends and remains the norm in Britain, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand and parts of the United States and Canada. During an unprogrammed meeting for worship, Friends gather together in "expectant waiting" for divine leadings. Sometimes a meeting is entirely silent, sometimes quite a few people speak. Meeting for worship generally lasts about an hour.

A member will rise and share a message (give "ministry") with the gathered meeting when they feel led. Typically, messages, testimonies, ministry, or other speech are unprepared, and members are called on to discern the source of their inspiration—whether divine or self.

Unprogrammed worship is generally deemed to start as soon as the first participant is seated, the others entering the room in silence. The Meeting for Worship ends when a usually predetermined person (generally an "elder") shakes the hand of his or her neighbor. All the members of the assembly then shake hands with their neighbors, after which one member (often the "clerk") usually rises and extends greetings and makes announcements. Many meetings serve coffee or tea after meeting, which gives everyone an opportunity to catch up with friends and chat with visitors.

In unprogrammed worship, Quakers do not have a sermon.

I know I've said this a million times, but Euell Gibbons was an Elder in our Meeting way back in the day, and IIRC, Dad was a Clerk of the Quarter.  I'm not sure, but I think that enabled him to abscond with the church funds...nonono, just kidding (wonder if anybody will get the allusion, though). 

Anyhoo, there ain't really any hierarchy to speak of but there is, like, one tenet in Quakerism.  The Inner Light (which the Freep editors messed with in Mom's obit--I think we should sue):

This is the central concept of Quakerism. Friends may differ on almost any other issue, but they are united in their belief in the presence of an inward source of inspiration and strength. The Inner Light is more than conscience. The surrounding culture influences conscience. The Inner Light is that of God within. But is it to be received as a gift from God, or is it a part of human nature? This fundamental question still separates the more spiritually minded Friends from their more humanistic counterparts. Some would say that this Inward Light resides in all living things. Some would say, with Teilhard de Chardin, that it is in every particle of matter or energy in the universe! By whatever name Friends refer to it, they know by experience that it is a potential force for good in every human being, and Fox has enjoined us to walk cheerfully through the world answering it. The constant presence of the Inner Light assures us of a continuing revelation and a contemporary religion that cannot become obsolete with changing times and the advance of secular knowledge.

This is totally what being a Friend is to me.  I don't go to Meeting anymore, but the way I look at it you can have Meeting by yourself, anywhere, anytime when you at least stop for a moment to be present and try to listen to your Inner Light.  And while I'm agnostic (pretty much an atheist, but I admit that I can't know for certain if there is a God at all), I really dig the notion of the Inner Light being a part of all matter and energy in the Cosmos.  I see it sort of in the vein of tikkun olam:

Isaac Luria, the renowned sixteenth century Kabbalist, used the phrase “tikkun olam,” usually translated as repairing the world, to encapsulate the true role of humanity in the ongoing evolution of the cosmos. In his view, God created the world by forming vessels of light to hold the Divine Light. But as God poured the Light into the vessels, they catastrophically shattered, tumbling down toward the realm of matter. Thus our world consists of countless shards of the original vessels entrapping sparks of the Divine Light. Humanity’s great task involves helping God by freeing and reuniting the scattered Light, raising the sparks back to Divinity and restoring the broken world.
...
With each small act of kindness, with each moment of presence and practice, with each effort to see, cleanse, and integrate our inner life, we build the new world and serve the Divine Architect of meaning. Rather than view tikkun olam as a return to the perfection that existed before God created the universe, we may consider the spiritualizing of the world as reaching toward a new and greater perfection than existed before, toward perfecting this imperfect world by imbuing the whole of it with the Divine spirit.

For me this also fits in rather nicely with Gandhi's satyagraha, which I distill into the concept that none of us has a monopoly on The Truth. 

So this weekend we will, if we are "led by the Spirit", speak of our individual, personal experiences with the Truth that was Mom's Inner Light.  A rather nice way to heal part of the world, and to say goodbye to the lady who gave me this cool birthright by becoming a Friend in the first place.

ntodd

PS--Lest you think Quakers are a bunch of pussies, check out the lyrics to Fear of a Black Hat, yo.

PPS--Yes, Nixon was a "Quaker".  From one of those weird Friends Churches in California that were more puritanical and fundamentalist and totally less fun at parties.