I Probably Shouldn't Laugh, But I Did

The Onion:

In schools and coffeehouses, parlors and public squares, Iraqis are discussing and debating the revolutionary teachings of activist Iyad al-Naqib, who is being hailed by some as the "Iraqi Mahatma Gandhi" for his commitment to practicing "a bit less severe" forms of violence against infidels and crusaders.

Known for sayings such as "An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind, so extract a pinky for an eye," al-Naqib, 46, is both praised and vilified throughout the Muslim world for his radical, slightly less violent teachings.

Al-Naqib's followers are instructed to bomb discos on weeknights, when they are less crowded, and to equip suicide bombers with hand grenades rather than multiple sticks of TNT.

Such views earned al-Naqib this year's Mideast Peace Prize, an award administered by the Yemeni government and presented to individuals credited with encouraging what its literature characterizes as "anything remotely close to a rough approximation of peace in the region."
...
"Violence is not the solution," al-Naqib wrote in his breakthrough 1998 treatise Practicing Semiviolence. "It is only approximately 19/20ths of the solution. We should not work toward the total annihilation of all who oppose us—just some of them. And perhaps it is best we practice occasional mercy for the innocent, such as the young, who can easily recuperate."

In a 2003 interview with British newspaper The Guardian, al-Naqib said that the "decadent immorality of Western civilization must be almost, but not quite, wiped off the face of the earth."
...
"You should be the change that you want to see in the world," al-Naqib said. "I am prepared to die for my life of slightly less violence, but there is no cause for which I am prepared to kill thousands of people when it will suffice to simply blow their legs off."

Maybe I'm just punchy, but this made me laugh a lot--shit, what else can you do as Iraq tears itself apart with our help?  It's also a good snark on pro-lifers who support war, the death penalty and bombing abortion clinics, and others of that ilk.

ntodd