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Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Life Carries On
it was only one hour ago
it was all so different then
there's nothing yet has really sunk in
looks like it always did
this flesh and bone
it's just the way that you would tied in
now there's no-one homei grieve for you
you leave me
'so hard to move on
still loving what's gone
they say life carries on
carries on and on and on and on
It was incredibly sad, but quick and painless, and the old girl knew she was loved. Stef patted her head, while I scratched Saff's chin. It's amazing, despite all the grieving I did in advance, how hard it hit when the vet told us Saff's heart had stopped.
Sam seems more confused than Cairo--who took her opportunity to say goodbye before we left on The Long Drive--and is sitting by the couch where I had Saff's towel the past couple days.
Thank you all once again for the public and private compassion you've shown us. Our animals are more than just furry companions: they are our children. All the supportive messages and e-mails have meant more than I can express.
And life carries on.
ntodd
November 15, 2005 | Permalink
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» Spare a kind thought from Musing's musings
For NTodd and his family, which decreased by one in size today when he and his wife had to put down their cat Saffron. May she find plenty of cat toys, and warm places in the sun, and people to [Read More]
Tracked on Nov 15, 2005 7:21:43 PM
» Condolences from Bark Bark Woof Woof
Please go visit NTodd and Stef in their time of loss. [Read More]
Tracked on Nov 15, 2005 7:43:44 PM
» Losing A Friend from Rook's Rant
NTodd has said goodbye to a dear friend. Go give your condolences.... [Read More]
Tracked on Nov 15, 2005 10:40:56 PM
» Condolences from Medley
Condolences from our family to NTodd and his on the loss of Saffron the cat who's now off to the Great Meadow in the Sky.... [Read More]
Tracked on Nov 17, 2005 11:37:26 AM
Comments
All of you are in my thoughts tonite...
Posted by: Kath | Nov 15, 2005 6:35:12 PM
I have taken the liberty of using your "Goodbye" picture on my site and asked readers to stop by.
I know how it feels. Hugs.
Posted by: Mustang Bobby | Nov 15, 2005 6:36:43 PM
Here's another by Li Po:
MOUNTAIN DRINKING SONG
To drown the ancient sorrows,
we drank a hundred jugs of wine
there in the beautiful night.
We couldn't go to bed with the moon so bright.
The finally the wine overcame us
and we lay down on the empty mountain--
the earth for a pillow,
and a blanket made of heaven.
-- -- --
Posted by: Darryl Pearce | Nov 15, 2005 7:19:25 PM
Hey NTodd, over reading at Atrios and suddenly I thought of you. Hope you guys are okay, sad I know, but you did the right thing. Take care.
Posted by: mer | Nov 15, 2005 7:25:46 PM
I was thinking of you this afternoon--especially as I drove home through a dark, cool, rainy late-autumn evening. I bet the atmosphere I was driving through was probably a pretty accurate reflection of the level of your spirits.
There's a prayer up for you and Stef and Saff and Sam and Cairo over at my place. Just follow the trackback link.
Posted by: Michael | Nov 15, 2005 7:27:11 PM
I had to have one of my foster kittens euthanized this weekend, as his URI developed into pneumonia and he was having trouble breathing. It's become a too-common occurrence in my house lately. Even though it releases them from suffering, I always feel particularly sad euthanizing kittens, because they never really had a chance to be a cat. But I have come to accept that for some of my fosters, I can offer them only an ending, not a beginning.
Saff had a long, good life with people who loved her. You came through for her in the end. Bless you.
Posted by: Willow | Nov 15, 2005 7:31:31 PM
My heart goes out to you and Stef and Cairo and Sam. It's not easy saying goodbye after 16 years; it's not easy saying goodbye after 16 months. Companionship is so easy; letting go is so hard.
Find joy in each day. It's the best way to live.
Peace to you.
Posted by: | Nov 15, 2005 7:33:59 PM
sorry. that was me. at 7:33. silly typepad.
Posted by: watertiger | Nov 15, 2005 7:35:25 PM
I am just so sorry. I wish I were there to hug you.
Posted by: Marcia Brady | Nov 15, 2005 7:35:31 PM
At the risk of consuming your bandwidth with a long post, I thought I'd leave this, which consoled me when we had to put my childhood dog down...one of the hardest days of my life. Take care.
THE HOUSE DOG'S GRAVE
(Haig, an English bulldog)
by Robinson Jeffers
I've changed my ways a little, I cannot now
Run with you in the evenings along the shore,
Except in a kind of dream; and you, if you dream a moment
You see me there.
So leave awhile the paw-marks on the front door
Where I used to scratch to go out or in,
And you'd soon open; leave on the kitchen floor
The marks of my drinking-pan.
I cannot lie by your fire as I used to do
On the warm stone,
Nor at the foot your bed; no, all the nights through
I lie alone.
But your kind thought has laid me less than six feet
Outside your window where firelight so often plays,
And where you sit to read -- and I fear often grieving for me --
Every night your lamplight lies on my place.
You, man and woman, live so long, it is hard
To think of you ever dying.
A little dog would get tired, living so long.
I hope that you when you are lying
Under the ground like me your lives will appear
As good and joyful as mine.
No, dears, that's too much hope: you are not so well cared for
As I have been.
And never have known the passionate undivided
Fidelities that I knew.
Your minds are perhaps too active, too many-sided . . . .
But to me you were true.
You were never masters, but friends. I was your friend.
I loved you well, and was loved. Deep love endures
To the end and far past the end. If this is my end,
I am not lonely. I am not afraid. I am still yours.
Posted by: Dave J. | Nov 15, 2005 7:38:25 PM
Pets can be such wonderful companions, and Saff certainly was one of them. I grieved with you as you accompanied her on her journey to kitty heaven.
Peace.
Posted by: pie | Nov 15, 2005 7:38:36 PM
So sorry, NTodd. The picture made me cry. I recognize those gaunt haunches with the bones protruding - I've had two die from complications of old age now. Everything about it is hard.
My love to you and Steph and the family.
Posted by: Tena | Nov 15, 2005 7:41:16 PM
peace to you, stef, and saff.
there is a great bukowski poem about cats. i can't remember, but basically, cats teach you.
peace to sam and cairo too. animals know.
after all, when you get down to the brass tacks we are all animals.
Posted by: charley | Nov 15, 2005 7:43:42 PM
{{more hugs}}
Posted by: flory | Nov 15, 2005 7:44:27 PM
You took care of her and gave her a good life. The hardest part is caring for them at the end. Bless you all.
Posted by: TheOtherWA | Nov 15, 2005 7:53:42 PM
I am so sorry for your loss, NTodd. Every cat is special. Take comfort in the knowledge that with you and Stef, your kitty had a happy, content and well-loved life.
Posted by: TJ | Nov 15, 2005 7:53:58 PM
I'm queasy myself just thinking about how you must feel. I hope the love of your wife and other pets helps ease the pain.
Posted by: Sphaeron | Nov 15, 2005 7:56:15 PM
Much sympathy to you all.
Posted by: SteveNS | Nov 15, 2005 8:08:43 PM
I'm crying, and and I never 'knew' the little beastie. It never gets any easier. My thoughts and mental hugs go out to you, Stef, Sam, and Cairo.
Posted by: Buckeye, Dealer of Rare Coins | Nov 15, 2005 8:17:46 PM
Hey, she had a good run, she had a good home, and she didn't suffer that much in the end. Now she's chasing mice in the Great Meadow.
Not a bad ending to a pretty nice story, if you ask me...
Posted by: dave | Nov 15, 2005 8:53:24 PM
I've been misty eyed for the past hour since reading your post and all the comments.
What a pretty girl Saffron! And she was so loved. And the sense of community on these pages is truly amazing. I'm having trouble seeing the keyboard.
We will light a candle this evening for Saff and you and yours.
Posted by: The CultureGhost | Nov 15, 2005 9:16:29 PM
Awww, I'm so sorry. She was a lovely old girl.
Posted by: kc | Nov 15, 2005 10:03:04 PM
Leaves are falling all around, It's time I was on my way. Thanks to you, I'm much obliged for such a pleasant stay. But now it's time for me to go. The autumn moon lights my way. For now I smell the rain, and with it pain, and it's headed my way. Sometimes I grow so tired, but I know I've got one thing I got to do...
Having lost more then my share of pets, I know the feeling. May she find peace.
Posted by: Rook | Nov 15, 2005 10:37:14 PM
I tried to find a suitable verse or song, but nothing quite seemed right. Eventually, I sat at the piano and played for Saffron my best rendition of "Over the Rainbow"; at least I didn't need clear eyes to see the music for that one. Our friend Catherine, who lost her 15- or 16-year-old cat last year, says "over the rainbow" is where cats and people and other critters go when they go. I'm no theologian, but if Saffron is headed that way, those "happy little bluebirds" had better watch their tails!
Again, NTodd, thanks for sharing Saffron with us. We'll miss her too; please blog about her if it helps. Peace to all of you in the household.
Posted by: Steve Bates | Nov 15, 2005 10:39:03 PM
My heart to you and Stef. I was not able to follow this story because it was so close. My sweet old cat friend is 15 and is starting to slide. It pains me every day. I couldn't bear to add another sorrow to my pending one. Saff was a good old gal. And you were a good old companion.
Posted by: lea-p | Nov 16, 2005 1:03:48 AM
I was listening to that song this morning.
*hugs*
A.
Posted by: Athenae | Nov 16, 2005 1:39:45 AM
Only connect!
I felt sadness today for a cat I've read about and a man I've never met. I'm sorry she's gone but knowing of a cat so well-loved and cared for gives a measure of joy to all of us who love animals.
Peace to you all.
Posted by: Cheryl | Nov 16, 2005 2:41:55 AM
Our deepest condolences, NTodd.
Posted by: Elayne Riggs | Nov 16, 2005 7:45:06 AM
To end one's days being comforted by the ones you love, and who loved in return. A brave gift you gave your beloved.
Posted by: FeralLiberal | Nov 16, 2005 7:53:19 AM
All my love...
Posted by: Scooter | Nov 16, 2005 9:00:33 AM
I'm so sorry, dear. You have the thoughts and condolences of the entire Lab Kat family.
Pixel, Pica and Coby send warm paws.
Posted by: Lab Kat | Nov 16, 2005 11:21:23 AM
My sincere condolences.
Posted by: Houston | Nov 16, 2005 4:33:18 PM
My condolences to you and your loved ones, NTodd. Our cats and dogs go straight into our hearts, don't they? We grieve them so when they are gone. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Tears all around.
Posted by: Rexroths Daughter | Nov 16, 2005 5:25:27 PM
NTodd, much love and strength to you and your loved ones. It's hard to lose our furry children but I'm positive that she knew how much she was loved. Take good care of yourselves and the other furry kids. Love to all.
Posted by: OyToTheWorld | Nov 17, 2005 10:02:37 AM
Oh guys -
I'm so sorry about Saffron. I'm sitting here at work getting all teary. I'm with you on the "more than just furry companions" part.
We miss you guys. Seamus, Gunde, Dave and I send you wishes of peace and comfort on this mid-November eve.
Come visit Portland. Soon.
Hugs.
Posted by: Cathryn | Nov 17, 2005 5:06:13 PM
I am a couple of weeks behind the podcasts and rarely have time to read the blog.
I am sorry for your loss of Saff, I am sitting here misty-eyed over my loss of my first feline companion and that was 13 years ago!
May the rivers of milk be endless
May the meadows of catnip be lush
May the mice and birds give eternal play
You and yours are in our thoughts.
Posted by: Medeanj | Nov 29, 2005 2:20:13 PM
NTodd, much love and strength to you and your loved ones. It's hard to lose our furry children but I'm positive that she knew how much she was loved. Take good care of yourselves and the other furry kids. Love to all.
Perspectives on learning
Posted by: blindb | Sep 4, 2006 10:23:24 AM
Buy me stuff off my 
