« Our First Second-Third Anniversary! | Main | Peace »
Thursday, September 22, 2005
My New Crusades
As I was driving toward my date with destiny and various peace-related thingies, I finally realized the true reason I was put on this planet. I must fight for JUSTICE, so now I have dedicated my life to the following causes:
- I will continue to defend the indefensible as unreasonably and shrilly as possible until Gordon the Magnificent fulfills his pledge to pass along my comments to Michelle Malkin. But I bet he's too much of a fucking pussy.
- I now have declared holy war on pygmy marmosets. They are eviler than ocelots, and--since Gordo has never denied even under direct questioning that he has one named Martin--clearly vile minions of doom and wingnut familiars. They must be eradicated from our planet, and every time I see one I will crush it with a volume of the OED. Oh sure, they're pretty cute and you might think my anti-marmoset jihad extreme, but just imagine the consequences if we don't act immediately to solve this criticial problem. No, really, just imagine!
As Duly-appointed Spokesperson of The Left, I know I speak for all liberals on Earth, if not the entire Cosmos, and I hope everybody in the blogosphere will spread the word.
ntodd
September 22, 2005 | Permalink
TrackBack
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d8341c525c53ef00d8348dde2369e2
Listed below are links to weblogs that reference My New Crusades:
Comments
h m.juiiiiuuu-0oouiy7e``vfgvghhytyyytt
The above is Rosie's comment on your post. I can add nothing more, except to say that ocelots are not evil: ferocious and vicious, yes, but that is their nature.
Posted by: Thers | Sep 22, 2005 11:36:02 PM
Oh right, Thers, excuse the ocelots. They are obviously part of the axles of evil along with the pigmy marmosets. We must attack them now otherwise all of us will have ocelots and pigmy marmosets in the driver's seat and hanging off the steering wheel and NTodd's pants and chewing holes in everything.
Only problem is I'd prefer to attack Oregon rather than South America, so clearly the pigmy marmosets must have set up a training camp north, south, east and somewhat west of Portland. Oregon cannot prove that it does not have WMDs. So we invade tomorrow.
Why don't you love America?
Posted by: ellroon | Sep 23, 2005 2:33:27 AM
Waiting for Gordon the Monotonous to do anything but get more Cheetos from upstairs is a waste of time.
Posted by: George Johnston | Sep 23, 2005 3:45:23 AM
BTW, why bring up the Gordon the Monotonous? Are you trying to make house troll Charlie jealous?
Posted by: George Johnston | Sep 23, 2005 3:46:39 AM
Thers - you've proven my point: marmosets are more evil than ocelots.
George - I'm a traffic whore and I have high hopes that I can become The Right's new bogeyman.
Posted by: NTodd | Sep 23, 2005 8:19:22 AM
Buy me stuff off my 
